Background: My SO oldest son is 24. He lives with his mom (50) who lives with her mom (93). His fiance has moved in with her son (who she has part time) and their almost 1 year old daughter. He has a major anger issue (which we are all well aware of). His mom (my SO's ex who he hasn't spoken to in many years) called out the blue last night.
Situation: son is physically abusive to his own mother (who has lupus and a variety of other ailments), verbally abusive to his grandmother and fiance. Mom has bruises on her wrists from last night and photos of other injuries as well as police reports, but she's never pressed charges. Social workers have been to the house to look into the well-being of the baby and so far the baby has been left there. They have covered the multiple holes punched in the wall by son with poster and photos and such so social workers don't see them. Fiance has no family (mother died in car crash and father committed suicide - she has no one). She's a strong girl but the situation she finds herself in is not her first time around the block. Son has no job for the last 6 months - leeches off of grandma (who really has nothing) and blows up at his mom is she doesn't provide for his daughter. Mom has had enough and called son's dad (my SO) for advise.
Our advise: Call the cops, call CPS and get him out of the house away from the baby and into the help he needs - anger management and counseling. Mom is on board but afraid of what will happen to fiance and baby.
Dilemma/need advise: Fiance won't stay there, but has no place to go (literally). She's already lost one of her children 8 years ago through CPS (I don't know that whole story). We don't feel she is a threat to the baby. But what will happen when mom decides to call enough enough. Will they take baby away until they get things sorted out? Can we volunteer to care for the baby while it's all getting sorted out? We don't want to take the baby permanently, just care for her if needed.
How does this whole thing work? We've never been even close to a situation where CPS gets involved, nor have we been close to anyone that required restraining orders or cop intervention. I feel like it's all a bad dream!
This is one of those situations where tough love has been delayed far too long and now everything has become so much more complicated.
(I wasn't sure where to post this... but it's all about relationships - adult, baby, family matters)
Answer by staciandababy at 2:35 PM on Apr. 4, 2013
Answer by Ballad at 2:36 PM on Apr. 4, 2013
Answer by midnightmoma at 2:44 PM on Apr. 4, 2013
Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 2:45 PM on Apr. 4, 2013
Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:52 PM on Apr. 4, 2013
Answer by LostSoul88 at 2:53 PM on Apr. 4, 2013
Answer by midnightmoma at 2:53 PM on Apr. 4, 2013