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Should my mom be important enough to include in our plans, even though the plans didn't work out?

So it's my daughter's spring break, but I've had classes all week. Tomorrow will be my only day to spend with her and we were going to go to the beach. I invited my mom along, but since it will be raining we decided not to do the beach. So then my mom asks what we should do, I said I'd have to figure out what we could do that's indoors. I ask my daughter what she wants to do and she says she wants to spend the day with me. I tell my mom this and she gets butt-hurt that she's suddenly excluded. I told her I asked my daughter what she wanted to do (since it's HER vacation) and my mom says,"That's when you explain to her that grandma was looking forward to doing something with her." Now, both my daughters just spent the entire day with her today and yesterday, whereas I hardly ever see them because I'm in class. My daughter wants to spend a day with me and my mom thinks that she's more important than my kid wanting to spend the day with me? Am I being a bitch or is my mom just being a tad selfish at this point?

 
uwmilf

Asked by uwmilf at 12:36 AM on Apr. 5, 2013 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,633 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • How about a compromise, go to lunch with grandma, then to the movies or something without her. It kind of sounds like your mom is lonely? I am the peacemaker type though, I figure a couple of hours never would kill me, then I can do what I want for the rest of the time, but it is your day, your kid, and your time!
    jerseydiva

    Answer by jerseydiva at 9:53 AM on Apr. 5, 2013

  • Yeah, your mom's being a bit selfish. I'd probably be a wise-acre and ask her if she was expecting to die shortly.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:50 AM on Apr. 5, 2013

  • I think you have every right to have some alone time with your daughter. I get why your mom is hurt but she needs to get over it. Do what your daughter wants to do.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 12:37 AM on Apr. 5, 2013

  • I understand why your mom would be a little disappointed, but she needs to grow the f**k up and get over it. Having a day with your daughter is important, and your mom, as an adult, should respect that.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:44 AM on Apr. 5, 2013

  • I agree with everyone else. Your mother needs to grow up and realize not everything is about her. It isn't like she hasn't seen them in forever, she just saw her. You are 100% in the right.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 12:49 AM on Apr. 5, 2013

  • My opinion is different. Maybe because I don't like the way you referenced your mom here. She's your mom! Just like you are a mom to your daughter and one day it will be you. If she was in the original beach plan I think it's normal to expect she would be in the new plan too. :( Hope you guys work it out!
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 1:11 AM on Apr. 5, 2013

  • I would explain the situation to your daughter and try to include your mom, mom was expecting to go cause you invited her but the change of plans disrupted that. She might be being a bit selfish but remember that one day you are here and the next you might not be....
    older

    Answer by older at 7:15 AM on Apr. 5, 2013

  • I think it might be that your mom took your invitation to spend the day together seriously. It didn;t matter where you were going or what you were going to do. She was included. Did you think that though your time is liitted with your daughter, here time is limitted with hers, too. I would be hurt too. You don't invite and then say well we are doing something else but you are not invited.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:42 AM on Apr. 5, 2013

  • She spent time with me and my kids. I just don't know what to do tomorrow if the weather is crappy and my daughter says she wants to spend time with me. We can post-pone grand ma time for another day. She's always barging in on my time with my daughter
    uwmilf

    Comment by uwmilf (original poster) at 3:04 AM on Apr. 5, 2013

  • I think because your mom was included in the original plans is why she is upset and part of me agrees with her. However if your daughter is asking for some daughter-mommy time she should respect that too since the plan was changed due to weather and it sounds like she does get to spend a lot of time alone with you kids.
    MooNFaeRie30

    Answer by MooNFaeRie30 at 6:39 AM on Apr. 5, 2013

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