Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

I am heartsick

I recently discovered I am pregnant. It is nothing my husband or I planned on. He is almost 48, I am going to be 40 this summer. We already have one son and considered ourselves done. He is convinced that this isn't a good thing and doesn't want it. Many of his reasons to not have this child I can understand, (too old, financial concerns health issues), yet I can't bring myself to give him what he wants. Every time I think of it I feel so sick, sad and guilty for even considering it. He is resolute about not wanting it. I feel like we are on opposite sides of a huge canyon with no island in between. How can we come together? I feel so lost.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:41 PM on Apr. 5, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • Even when we progress in age we still have to be reminded of birth control.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 1:42 PM on Apr. 5, 2013

  • If your husband comes first then you will do what makes him happy as stated in another question.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 PM on Apr. 5, 2013

  • I would recommend not getting an abortion if you do not want one. It isn't a decision you can reverse once done and you alone will have to shoulder the burden emotionally. Maybe suggest some counseling to get help talking it through with a neutral third party.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 1:45 PM on Apr. 5, 2013

  • If you want this baby then keep it.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 1:47 PM on Apr. 5, 2013

  • I am totally pro-choice. It has to be YOUR choice, no one else's. If you get pushed into having an abortion you don't want, you will regret it and knowing he's the one who made you do it will be more damaging to your marriage than going ahead with the pregnancy.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 1:47 PM on Apr. 5, 2013

  • I am 52 now. But back when I was 50. We had a pregnancy scare. My DH said abortion. I said. NO. I told him their is not way I could do that. With or with out him. I was having the baby. I was not pregnant thank goodness.

    But you just have to do what you think is right.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:48 PM on Apr. 5, 2013

  • shut the fuck up anon. She shouldn't do something she doesn't want to do to make a man happy. Her happiness should come before her husbands.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 1:49 PM on Apr. 5, 2013

  • Not according to the other question.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Apr. 5, 2013

  • You are married, for better or for worse, and I would imagine that by this time you all know what creates babies? I would say that you have the child, if that is what you want, and he is your husband, this baby may be the next president for all you know. Is he going to divorce you, for having a baby the two of you made with one another, then he wasn't much of a husband to start with.
    jerseydiva

    Answer by jerseydiva at 2:37 PM on Apr. 5, 2013

  • Someone insisting on an abortion would be a deal breaker for me. I know it isn't that way for everybody, but I wouldn't get an abortion because of age or financial issues, and if my husband tried to force me into it, that would be the end of us because he would be tying to get me to do something that would devastate me emotionally.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 2:57 PM on Apr. 5, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN