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How would u respond?

So I watch my 4 year old niece. Well, when she acts up, I send her to time out in the bathroom. Now theres nothing in there she could get into, etc. And it's not for long periods of time. I tried putting her in the corner but she absolutely refuses and kicks and screams. So, I put her in the bathroom for a few minutes for time out. Well, she got mad one day and started smacking herself and throwing a fit. She somehow managed to get a black eye. I dont know if it was from her thrashing, when she was playing with the other kids, or what. Well, my sister jokingly asked her if I punched her. And she told her 'no mommy, ne-ne didnt punch me silly'. Well, ever since then, anytime someone asks her what happened to her eye, she tells people I punched her. This is getting ridiculous. I dont even spank the kids. What do I say when friends/family ask about this? I mean she's always said she gets beat,etc referring to anyone.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:37 PM on Feb. 16, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (13)
  • I can see why her mom would be concerned since you put her in the bathroom. I would just tell people the truth. That you lacked judgment and put her in the bathroom believing it was a good idea and she hurt herself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:41 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I would tell people that she's a kid and that's what they do. Stuff happens, and if super mom above me can prevent it, we'll just give her a cookie for her all knowing powers and a gold medal for being a hag.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:45 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • She may very well have hurt herself. I would have a long talk with the girl and her mother to clear things up. I also would not recommended that you use the bathroom as a time out area for 2 reasons. 1) you can't see what she is doing and there are a lot of very hard surfaces in there to get hurt on. 2) It could cause bathroom fear/aversion and potty training regression at least at your house. She is still 4 and 4 year olds do not rationalize well.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:46 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • In the bathroom? Really? Quite honestly, if I let someone watch my kid and they put them in the bathroom for a timeout, I would be really pissed. If they managed to get a black eye because they were in the bathroom alone on a time out, I would be putting my kid somewhere, else.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:17 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Actually, the bathroom is an acceptable place for timeouts, especially if you want to keep kids away from toys, etc. and they don't have their own room. Like you said, there's nothing she can get into. My son would tell storied about how he got owies especially when he doesn't really remember HOW they happened - kids don't catch on that getting hit can leave a bruise, especially when the bruise shows up hours later. She may not remember how she got the black eye, but people expect an answer other than "I don't know", so kids will tell people something they think the adults want to hear. If the story gets a response from the adults, she'll stick with it. If someone asks you, just tell them what happened - you don't know how it happened but she likes the way the story sounds.
    JPsMommy605

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 7:45 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • i'm not sure about using the bathroom as a timeout place, but like others have said, when people ask, just tell teh truth that you don't know how it happened
    bi-polarmommy

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 8:52 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • 4 year old is capable of understanding what really happened and what is a lie (pretend story, in my daughter's word). They just love to play along with make-up stories, I think. What I do with my almost 4 year old is to always ask if she's telling us a truth or it's a pretend story. I feel sorry for you for doing the right thing (disciplining someone's child is even more difficult than own, and if I'm leaving my daughter, I'd really appreciate it if the care taker disciplines her!) I would also talk to your sister so she can talk to your niece about the importance of telling the truth and the danger of lie. (What happened to the boy who cried wolf?) I mean, how can you take her to the public place now if people starts thinking you beat up small children! Good luck.
    Meachan

    Answer by Meachan at 11:09 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • to some previous posts: how can you say theres nothing a child can get into in the bathroom!! am i the only one that keeps my bathroom cleaners in the bathroom under the sink?????? i dont think so..a child could easily go in there and because theyre mad they could grab stuff and start drinkin....then what!! yaaa you got bigger problems than just a black eye
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • When my cousin was smaller (he lived with my husband and I for a few years) he would do this thing in the stores where every time I would be about to yell at him, he would duck and cover his head. He would only do it out in public and though I'd never laid a hand on him, those were times I could've! He would also tell people I bit him. I don't know why kids do that. Maybe the idea that you would punch her sounded so silly to her that it just stuck in her head and she repeats it.
    MommyAddie

    Answer by MommyAddie at 5:12 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Just tell them it was lack of ideas on how to handle the situation, (referring to the bathroom). You thought that it was a safe idea; but have learned from expierence!~ We all go through something like this. For instance, I have a 3 year old DD who had just fractured her wrist by jumping on my bed and then falling off.. We can't prevent everything from happeneing, just hopefully the really major things! Good Luck!! People need to stop being so judgemental!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:05 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

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