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Who has kicked out young adult children and had success with that

i read advice about kicking out young adults children (18-20) who are disrepectful, lazy, ect. 'but really, how can they get a job that can support themselves? what if they are depressed, or have some special needs like ADHD. The hope of course is for them to 'grow up' and start working towards something, or to come back home and agree to obey the 'rules'. But has that happened to any kids?

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Asked by ilovedash at 7:34 AM on Apr. 7, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Yes the legal responsibility ends at 18 but morally you will always be a parent, use every resource before you get to throwing them out....

    Answer by older at 8:10 AM on Apr. 7, 2013

  • Eh, it's a tough subject. Anyone can find a job. Most people can go to school to ensure that they CAN get a good job. I believe that as a parent, you have to prepare your child for that. I know some parents who have an 18 year old at home who is sitting around watching TV and playing on the computer after he graduated because they didn't prepare him for what he should do. That's a no go in my family. You get a full time job and move out as soon as you get your own place, share with friends, or you go to school full time. If you choose school, I will let you live at home or you can move into the dorm.

    Last of job, lack of motivation is going to get you a lazy 40 year old still living at your house. Now, also, when they at my home, it's MY rules. That will get them moving out faster than anything else.

    Yes, it can be done. I have two daughters who have been out on their own since 19.

    Answer by m-avi at 10:59 AM on Apr. 7, 2013

  • Believe me, there will come a time of awakening when he realizes all of his friends have moved on with their lives and he's still a "mommas boy", and he'll WANT to move out.
    18 is still young. You can give him the tools to find a job.

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 10:41 AM on Apr. 7, 2013

  • That being said, they do not hate me. They are motivated and responsible.

    My one daughter is a single mom to two girls. I help her out in so many ways... even doing her laundry and cleaning her house when I can.

    Answer by m-avi at 10:59 AM on Apr. 7, 2013

  • My kids were just starting college at 18. My point is that this is still a bit young. You mention special needs so there should be some sort of resource available to a parent who faces this. I agree with Older in that you should exhaust all resources before you make such a monumental decision as this

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 8:33 AM on Apr. 7, 2013

  • Just because he is not now willing to accept the help does not mean that you need to throw him out...never give up on your kids no matter how old or bad they get.....parenting does not stop because they are ill or old, it never ends as far as I am concerned! When you resort to kicking him out that to me means you are giving up!!!!

    Answer by older at 10:02 AM on Apr. 7, 2013

  • As of 18 you are not financialy resposable for your kid/s. See I started early. When they were in high school. Like the 11th and 12th grade. Every once in a while when they acted out. Acted like they didn't have to listen. I would inform them 18 was comming up. Then they could move out and do whatever they wanted.
    After high school. You just give them a dead line. "You have 6 months to get your act together and move out" Or I will chick you out.
    sometimes you need to just do the tough love type thing.

    Answer by louise2 at 8:05 AM on Apr. 7, 2013

  • My dad kicked my brother out a few months after he turned 18, just because he didn't like his friends he was spending time with. He was still in school even. He ended up moving in with me, dropping out of school and working for my husband as self employed. Now, he plans on hitchhiking across the US. But he is kind of a strange kid. He's been living with us for over a year.

    Answer by Lobelia at 9:15 AM on Apr. 7, 2013

  • ok there ya go kick out someone who is depressed.. bc thats not going to make the person more depressed. how about you get the person help. when people are depressed they take it out on everyone else and dont want to do anything. If you get the kid help maybe he will turn his attitude around and get a job

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 AM on Apr. 7, 2013

  • I appreciate what you are saying but my son has been getting help from multiple doctors for years, but he lies to them, he refuses to do the things they suggest, and the only thing he wants to do is stay on the internet all day. So there is a point where you can use depression as a excuse not to do anything, So sure, i can tell him if he doesn't want to be kicked out, he must agree to go into an intensive therapy program, but he'll refuse which leaves me with two choices..let him spend the next 20 years on my couch, and enable him to do that, or kick him out to see what the real world holds for those who won't work. My daughter had depression, but she worked hard with her therapists, and now she's doing great. Help is two have to be willing to accept it.

    Comment by ilovedash (original poster) at 9:52 AM on Apr. 7, 2013

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