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Why do most parents I see here think that parenting stops at 18? and if for some reason they still at home after this they need to be kicked out?

I know that legally we are not responsible but what about morally? How many of you think parenting ever stops?? I certainly don't I will be a parent until the day I die! age does not matter to me, independence I respect but I will always have the bond I always had with them, am I weird?

 
older

Asked by older at 10:28 AM on Apr. 7, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 69 (2,285,492 Credits)
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Answers (53)
  • I disagree that "apron strings" have to be cut. I find that idiotic and plain stupid. Being independent doesn't begin at some magic number 18. Children learn independence gradually. Each new phase and development brings more capable decision making and finding the right path for that specific kid. By 18 there are "no strings" because regardless of where my child is developmentally I will be here for him. If he takes full time classes, part rime school, working, or struggling...he is loved unconditionally and has a home and family. It is because I have faith in our child and our family that I know my child will be a spectacular man. And if that man needs his parents we will be there for him.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 1:22 PM on Apr. 7, 2013

  • Parenting, on the other hand, never stops. Just because I have those rules, it does not mean I don't parent, help out, etc. Heck my daughter is a single mother and I help her out all the time.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 10:49 AM on Apr. 7, 2013

  • I don't ever feel like parenting stops at any age. What I do feel is that if they are not going to school, they need to get a full time job and their own place. Why should I have to support a kid that doesn't work and does nothing after they are out of high school? That's my feelings. It's either school full time and you can chose to live at home WITH MY RULES or the dorm. If you choose no school, you get a full time job and move out as soon as you can. I do not believe the child should live at home after that unless it's absolutely necessary.

    The reason I believe that way..... It's what happened to me. My parents let me brother walk all over them. They raised his four daughters and in fact is now babysitting the great grandchild. Brother doesn't work and sometimes lives off them. NOT HAPPENING in my world EVER!
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 10:48 AM on Apr. 7, 2013

  • I will always be there for my son when he needs me, but once he graduates high school (he will turn 18 before graduating), I will have to cut the apron strings and let him live his life. He will be more than welcome to continue to live with us if he is going to school or working. If he is being a lazy bum then I might have to be a parent and give him a wake up call. I hope that I do everything that I can to raise him to make good choices in life.

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 10:36 AM on Apr. 7, 2013

  • I think willingness to allow another adult to stay in your home comes down to certain issues for some of us. I don't think that my kids have to leave my house when they are 18, but my house rules will still apply. If they aren't willing to live by my rules, then they can get their own place and make their own rules to live by. They must be either going to school or working (or actively looking for a job). If they are working they will need to pay me a small amount for rent. I will then in turn keep their rent money in a separate amount (without them knowing so that they aren't planning for it to be returned, but rather to get them used to the fact that it costs money to survive). If they do this and when it's time for them to get their own place I will have something set aside to help them with either extra money for a house down payment, furniture, or whatever their needs are.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:37 AM on Apr. 7, 2013

  • No, your not weird. I agree...
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 10:39 AM on Apr. 7, 2013

  • I have no idea. I know that as an adult, I've needed my parents. I wouldn't have gotten through my divorce without the support of my family. I agree with you, parenting never ends. And, as long as my children are in school (college) they will not be kicked out at 18, if they want to stay home.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 10:40 AM on Apr. 7, 2013

  • My parents kicked me out when I was 18, using the same logic as the other moms. But, I was going to school and I HAD a job and my paycheck helped pay some of the bills.
    But they were the type that said, you're an adult now, out you go. I lived in my car for 3 months, before I had enough money to pay for my first months rent.
    Guess what happened with that relationship. I haven't seen them in over 25 years!
    I don't give a damn how old your kids are, they're still your kids!
    PMSMom10

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 10:47 AM on Apr. 7, 2013

  • Parenting stops when the parent dies.

    ^^^ And not even then. B/C throughout our parenting years, we have taught them lessons that will last them a lifetime. So when we're not there, that little voice in their head is! :)
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 2:07 PM on Apr. 7, 2013

  • Kids who do nothing but smoke pot and play video games, and expect to be waited on hand and foot all day need to be kicked out. They need to learn how to get somewhere in life.
    Kids who work, go to school, or contribute in some way to the household can stay!
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 11:30 AM on Apr. 7, 2013

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