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When your little child is sad, upset, feeling left out....

do you feel the same? I find myself being very emotional lately with some of the things she says about kids at her school, there are a couple who refuse to play with her, couple that are bossy etc. it just kills me she is 6yrs old, new to the school, it amazes me how nasty kids can be so young??

alot of the girls are tight as they all went to PreK & Kindergarten. I have to get tougher skin but it is hard. My daughter is so passive, so friendly, she want to play & be friends with everyone it hurts to hear argh!!! & some of the Mom's there don't get me started on that!!!!! Anyways, does it really affect you? or do you just say & think they are just little kids? I feel like a knife went through my heart and she is only 6 geez!

 
sarasmommy777

Asked by sarasmommy777 at 9:59 PM on Apr. 9, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (20)
  • ugh i can't stand it.. my son is only in preschool for the secxond year, he hasn't run in to this yet but he's SOOOOO sensitive. He cried when spongebob cried on tv. he cried when our dog died, which.. the dog died when i was 5 months pregnant and he never knew him. when he was 2, he watched the movie cars and cried when he couldn't see sally anymore when she rounded a corner.. THAT sensitive.. its going to be terrible..
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 10:35 PM on Apr. 9, 2013

  • My uncle always said when they are sick, you are sick, and when they hurt, you hurt. And it is so. Acknowledge her feelings and decide what she can do to help. Smile more, perhaps.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:02 PM on Apr. 9, 2013

  • I feel you. My dd is 5 and pretty sensitive. I encourage her to speak to a teacher if any of them are being mean and to try to make other friends if she's being left out.

    It is hard and I'd love to step in sometimes, but I know she has to figure this out on her own.
    anng.atlanta

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 10:11 PM on Apr. 9, 2013

  • I remember well and it doesn't necessarily go away quickly. The child needs to find just one pal and then it'll get better. Once she falls into a group of girls it'll work out. Yes, it is awful and as a parent there isn't much you can do while they flounder trying to find their way. You might talk to the teacher and explain this. At our school, there is a "no" exclusion policy that my now 8 and 10 year old fully understand and adhere to. Kids are awful...my dh and I have our ideas of why this is but a child has to be taught to be considerate of others' feelings...and let's face it, most grownups we know aren't capable so how can we expect kids to be....?
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:12 PM on Apr. 9, 2013

  • Yeah, it's so sad that it starts so young...I'd explain to her teacher what is going on and the teacher should take the ball and run with it. Pairing her with another girl to do different activities in class, etc. That might extend to the playground/lunch room. Hang in there Mama, you're not alone.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:18 PM on Apr. 9, 2013

  • If it's an area that was painful in your own childhood, it is more likely to be difficult to manage emotionally if/when your child faces it. Areas that left you feeling helpless & hurt are going to trigger those same feelings, plus fear, in a parent.
    We can't choose our honest feelings (and feelings are never "wrong," as in "I shouldn't feel that way") but managing to regulate our own emotions helps keep those reactions from interfering in the present. Your daughter may not respond like a victim (she may just feel confused or sad, disappointed, even really hurt, but process the experience as ultimately "acceptable" & navigate the situation very healthily) if you can support her in her experience without acting on an impulse to rescue her from feelings that are admittedly overwhelming to you. We do this by offering ourselves emotional containment, so we can offer THEM emotional containment.
    When you're triggered, that's HARD!!!
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 10:48 PM on Apr. 9, 2013

  • I am well past that age but yes , it hurt me if my child was feeling bad.
    What you discribe is the world. Out of 30 kids in her class about half are girls. so out of 15 2 are bossy and two will not play with her.
    What about kids?
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 10:23 PM on Apr. 9, 2013

  • I dread the day another child rejects my son. Yes it would break my heart.
    maecntpntz219

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 11:00 PM on Apr. 9, 2013

  • I feel your pain, Mama. The first time I was outside with my daughter in our condo complex and another four-year-old said something truly mean to her--not just snippy, but really vicious--I felt positively murderous. Not that I would ever act on my violent thoughts toward a child, even a little brat that's not mine, and I probably was overly outraged, but for that first second, I could have wrung her neck. My daughter is happy and friendly, and I want her to stay that way as long as she can. So I understand how hard it is for you. I agree with the others that maybe talking to the teacher could help.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 11:38 PM on Apr. 9, 2013

  • my DD is very sensitive to all the girly cliquey crap too. she had a lot of problems the first few weeks of pre-K b/c she didnt understand why the other girls wouldnt play with her (turns out they all went to the same day care). so i told her to make friends with ppl who wanted to be her friend...they were all boys and a girl who spoke no English. now she's fine.

    DD lost her beloved lovey today at Walmart...we searched and couldnt find him. she was so upset, crying, but silently. ive never seen her so sad! it kills me! i really hope they find it!
    okmanders

    Answer by okmanders at 12:42 AM on Apr. 10, 2013