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My daughter gets very angry..upon questions or comments.

My daughter gets very angry whenever her dad or I try an ask her a question, or tell her to do something. I don't know if it's the nagging she doesn't appreciate? She says 'whatever'. Or if we try to discipline her by taking something away, she says 'oh well, i don't care'. I don't know how to fix this attitude. Any help is much appreciated. (She's almost 12.)

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2013mommieof5

Asked by 2013mommieof5 at 12:17 PM on Apr. 10, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • her hormones may be out of whack. 12 is about the time for puberty for a lot of girls.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 12:23 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • This attitude is very typical of a teen or a pre  teen, as long as she is not being disrespectful, ignore it.....

    older

    Answer by older at 12:23 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • @older my husband and I do believe it's disrespectful. I just don't want it to get out of hand since teen year is coming and puberty! She has littler sister, and brother that are learning these bad habits.
    2013mommieof5

    Comment by 2013mommieof5 (original poster) at 12:32 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • then you need to tell her to watch her mouth and speak to both of you respectfully. If she won't, start taking away her things, from phone, to TV, to time with friends. Maybe even assign her extra chores if she gets lippy.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 12:35 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • It is normal for that age, but again, you have to let her know that what you say still goes. I never tolerated disrespect, you might need to emphasize that.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 12:36 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • Occupy her time as much as you can. Busy hands are happy hands. Find a club or sport to enroll her in. When she is not doing that then have her volunteer at the Library. My Library has "Book Buddies". Where an older kids reads a book to a smaller kid. My Son loves it! They can also help with many things at the Library at night, weekends & after school.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:38 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • I am not a spanker or one that hits kids, but a quick smack upside the head sure does get their attention. I have only done it when the respect issue has gotten out of hand. It catches their attention and really shows you are not going to put up with it. It only took a couple of times with my oldest son.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • It is called puberty/teen years. Sound like she is starting early. He saying it does not bother her for you to take things away is just reverse physiology. She want you to think it does not bother her. So you will give it back.   One thing I know she will not like is to take her bedroom door off.   No privacy will hurt her the most.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 12:47 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • Typical pre-teen behavior. So long as she is not using foul language to you or hitting you, these little temper tantrum attitudes she has are just her trying to assert herself.
    NicNatsMom

    Answer by NicNatsMom at 12:51 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • Sounds like I'm in for a long haul!!
    @louise2 that is a great idea - However she shares a room with her 9 yr old sister, so that won't work. 8(
    @ILovemyPaulie We are currently trying to find her 'calling' in sports/activities. Her bro/sis are in softball/baseball, but she doesn't enjoy it that much. She enjoys running, and she enjoys crafts. I thought about a 4H camp this summer to give her that alone time, but I didn't want her to think it was a reward for her behavior. Maybe a craft class at Joann's perhaps....
    2013mommieof5

    Comment by 2013mommieof5 (original poster) at 12:54 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

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