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2 Bumps

how would you get over being 28 weeks pregnant and finding out that when you were in hospital having major surgery (unrelated to the pregnancy) your fiance was sex messaging a few other women?

i went into hospital for emergency surgery and i was petrified of the effects it could have had on my baby. i was 19 weeks pregnant at the time. About 6 weeks later i found some messages on his facebook account private chat. He lied to me at first about them and then a week later only because i found out some truth behind them he came clean and told me about them now i cant help but think he would rather someone else than me and that im no good or not what he wants he assures me i am everything to him but i dont feel that i am. How do i get over this ? i want to make it work but finding it hard any help would be appreciated thank you

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mumtobe04

Asked by mumtobe04 at 6:31 PM on Apr. 10, 2013 in Relationships

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • You lack his trust, he broke it, any relationship is doomed to fail if there is no trust.......if you can't trust him your life will be a living hell, get out now, or get counseling.
    older

    Answer by older at 6:37 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • Lots of time and open communication. It's not just as easy as telling you that you are everything to him. He really needs to own up to the damage he caused and has to admit the truth as to what he was looking for from these other women. Only then will you be able to decide fully whether this is something you can try to work past. At least that's how I would feel if it were me.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 6:39 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • How long ago did this happen? Is the baby now here and it is 2 years later, or did you just now discover this.
    How I would feel if I was stil pregnant, would be I FELT he needed to hit the road, and hand us a big fuckin check every month.
    How do I feel if baby is born, and I brushed it under the rug, and, now for other reasons feel he is a douche? I would look at my self in the mirror.
    jerseydiva

    Answer by jerseydiva at 7:51 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • This has just happened I was in hospital on my birthday and found all this out weeks later and baby isn't due for another 11wks roughly. We do have another child together and I have 2 others from a previous marriage who think the world of him :/
    mumtobe04

    Comment by mumtobe04 (original poster) at 8:03 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • We wouldn't be together.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:15 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • time to have a come to jesus meeting, either you will A surrender your phone, computer, and allow me to access them at all times, or B you will be away from me and our children, You have choice A or B to make, I have a lawyer on retainer, and will make sure that you will do what is right for our children, even if you won't or are not wiling to do right by me.
    Get a pair momma! Tell him exactly what and how you want it to be.
    jerseydiva

    Answer by jerseydiva at 9:40 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • What a prince!
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 11:25 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • I moved over 300 miles from friends and family to be with him and I'm now basically on my own with what will soon be 4 kids
    mumtobe04

    Comment by mumtobe04 (original poster) at 2:18 AM on Apr. 11, 2013

  • As hard as it will be, I think it's time to pack up and go home where you have some support. It might be that he will miss you enough and want you enough that he will be willing to change. There, of course, are no guarantees, but unless he does a complete turn-around, you will be better off without him around. And, even if he should decide to come after you, be sure you wait to take him back until you are absolutely certain that he is a reformed man. And don't just rely on your own assessment, but ask the friends and family who will have your back without any kind of ulterior motive other than wanting the best for you and your children!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:02 PM on Apr. 11, 2013

  • Yeah, that would be the last I heard.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 12:21 PM on Apr. 11, 2013

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