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5 Bumps

How would you react? UPDATE!

Update - I went out yesterday for two parties, one with little Scot and one all on my own. I then went shopping for sneakers. I was hoping to give my husband a chance alone with the kids to help him understand what its like to take care of them. Of course, I have them a lot longer than just a few hours, but still to give him an idea. What does he do... has his mom take them... so much for



I am a SAHM with three children. I have a 7 year old with Autism (high-functioning), a 5 year old with Autism/non-verbal, and a 4 year old. My 7 and 5 year old are in school.

When my 5 year old is home he is very destructive in the house. To keep things clean, I would have to follow him around the house and ignore all else. It is very hard to keep up with housework and all his needs.

My husband is on me a lot about cleaning. He told me that I am horrible at being a housewife and don't contribute anything to our home. I try my best to keep up with things. He works long hours of shiftwork. I am often alone with the kids.

His words and comments really hurt. Not sure what to do?

Answer Question

Asked by CSJMommy3 at 8:23 PM on Apr. 10, 2013 in Home & Garden

Level 8 (209 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Leave him alone with the kids more. You can't change people, but tell him you know he works hard but so do you.

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 8:26 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • I agree with PP. Leave him with the kids for half a day and tell him to keep the house clean. See if he keeps complaining.

    Also have a heart-to-heart with him about his judgmental comments.

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 8:35 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • You need to get him to walk in your shoes a while! He obviously has no idea what's involved in all you do! Any three kids, autism or not, can wreck a house in no time flat and it's hard to keep anything totally clean all the time with kinds!

    Answer by mikesmom65270 at 8:35 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • Go on a mini vacation for a weekend. Leave your phone at home. He will NOT realize the hell you go through until he goes through it himself.

    LINK to appicable joke (It won't all fit in here) there's a funny image that tells the same story, but I can't find it right now.


    Answer by Rosehawk at 8:36 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • Time to leave him home alone with all three kids for a day. See if he can keep the house clean.

    Answer by louise2 at 9:09 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • I think you must really travel to see your mother. You must go THIS weekend and he will have to stay home with the boys for the next 2 -5 days. Tell him now.

    Answer by Dardenella at 10:24 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • Rosehawk, I was thinking of the exact same joke.

    Just don't do anything for part of the day. He'll see the difference. And if he still makes a stink about say "oh well, have a good evening" take the car keys and leave for a few hours. He should get the idea.

    Answer by balagan_imma at 10:26 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • I agree with Dardenella. There's an urget trip you just have to take right away. By yourself. It can't be helped.

    Answer by Ballad at 10:33 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • My kids are the same way, my daughter has profound autism and my son is ADHD. My daughter is easier to handle than my son, he is a 5 year old tornado lol. It takes a lot of work and get very stressful. Have you asked your husband to help out more? Explain to him that caring for special needs children is a full time, endless and sometimes thank less job and that you would appreciate more support from him.
    I also agree with the other ladies, let him walk a mile in your shoes. If he survives (men are so weak lol) maybe his out look will have improved. Good luck and chin up.

    Answer by AnonNdrag at 10:40 PM on Apr. 10, 2013

  • First, your DH is a jerk.

    You need to find a way to calm the kids down so they're not destroying everything. Try

    Perhaps only let them play in one room the whole day so that the mess is contained. Or, take them outside or somewhere else to play so that the mess doesn't happen at home.


    Answer by hellokittykat at 12:04 AM on Apr. 11, 2013

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