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3 Bumps

Would it help if i...

im leaving an abusive relationship, I have three kids. I have no proof of any kind of abuse. it wsnt till today that I found out that an abusive father and still get sole custody of his children. like I said I have no proof of nething and hes onr of those people who can make neone believe nething, he told me that he would tell everyone that im a bad mother and don't deserve my children. would it help if I went to a womens shelter?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Apr. 11, 2013 in Health

Answers (7)
  • I think you SHOULD go to a women's shelter so you have the protection you need in case he goes bizerk. Also, they can help you find resources to get you on your feet emotionally. You'll need time to heal emotionally from the physical abuse you've endured.
    How come you've never called the police or filed any sort of report?
    daylily888

    Answer by daylily888 at 1:08 PM on Apr. 11, 2013

  • too afraid. well I did call the police the first time he threatened to kill me, but called them back and said nevermind cuz I was afraid e would find out and get mad.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:13 PM on Apr. 11, 2013

  • Unless the Mother is a drug addict or unfit mentally then the Mother will get the children. Do you have anywhere else to go? Stay with family? If not then go to a shelter. File a Police report if he tries anything.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 1:13 PM on Apr. 11, 2013

  • he told me that he would tell everyone that im a bad mother and don't deserve my children.


    I think this is standard fare for ex husbands.  


    Perhaps calling an abuse hotline and discussing with one of their counselors the best plan of action would be a good idea.  They should be trained and able to help direct you to helpful resources.  

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 1:15 PM on Apr. 11, 2013

  • If you have not proof about him and he has no proof on you. The courts will not give either of you soal custody. They probably will split it.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:30 PM on Apr. 11, 2013

  • Telling everyone you are a bad mother and don't deserve your children won't cut it. Unless your ex has some kind of proof that you have abused ore neglected your children, a judge will see his story for what it is, an attempt to use your kids to hurt you or manipulate you. Which is exactly what he is doing. Don't let him scare you into staying in harm's way for fear of losing your children. It's not good for you or them if a man is threatening to kill you and scaring you into not calling the police.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 3:08 PM on Apr. 11, 2013

  • Whether or not he can make anyone believe anything, you have every right to go to a women's shelter whenever you want to. He cannot make you come back. Please go there as soon as possible and please call the police station in the morning and ask to speak to a person on the Domestic Violence Unit. They can help you file charges and also get you set up with a court advocate who will help you through the court process. Do NOT go back to him. He is telling you lies to make you afraid to leave. Leaving him CAN be done! I know so many people who have done it who've had terrible partners. My prayers are with you. I am sooo glad you are smart enough to be planning on leaving him.


    hugs

    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 12:35 AM on Apr. 12, 2013

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