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So my SO and i have eben together for almost 6 years. we have an 8mos old and a faint possibility that baby #2 could be brewing lol. well anyway his cousin is in from out of town and he is insisting on going out. he asked my opinion and i told him i think its crap cause this is the ONLY night he has at home. not to mention we have 9 newborn puppies and a baby and 2 grown dogs to take care of (i do it everyday except mondays) and hes still going. it pisses me off so bad....any advice on how to handle this im sooooooo heated especailly cause when they go out they cant keep it under control they get hammered and i have to deal with his crap

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:56 PM on Feb. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I totally understand your frustrations but you have to also look at it from his point, maybe he needs a break just like you do, so talk to him tell him he got his night out and his break so maybe next week he can stay home with the puppies and the baby and let you go do something to relax for an hour or two. Also think of it this way, you say his cousin is in from out of town, how often does his cousin come into town or does your SO go out? If it is an all the time thing I'd be pretty upset and I'd tell him it's not ok, but if this is one random event then why cause an issue over something that isn't a regular occurance. Pick and choose your battles some aren't worth costing yourself a relationship.

    Answer by bubblycute at 9:04 PM on Feb. 16, 2009


    Answer by Naralie at 9:07 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I say "get over it". Everybody is entitled to go out ( without their signficant other). His cousin is in from out of town! It would be different if his cousin lived around the corner and took your SO out on a weekly basis. You have to learn to choose your battles in a relationship and I don't think this is one that you will win. When you tell another Adult what they can or can't do OR should or shouldn't do you end up looking insecure, needy, over-bearing, bossy and resentment can occur over time. HEll, if I had a friend/cousin in from out of town I would expect my Husband to understand. Take care of our kids, house, Animals etc. and to not blow up my cell ever hour wondering what I am doing. I would expect that he would respect me as an Individual and an Adult!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I agree with anon 8:08....

    Answer by ZaTa at 9:28 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Maybe he also needs a break from the everyday. Talk to him, let him know that you expect a break of your own, tell him not to get hammered, and to have fun.

    Answer by catwalksymphony at 9:28 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I agree with Bubblycute. Try not to be upset because it's not going to help anything. He obviously needed a break to cut loose. If you need a break too, explain this to him (when he's sober!) and hopefully he'll be understanding. Just make sure you are making your needs clearly stated to him or make sure you get what you need... that will help with the bitter feelings. In the end, everyone has to have their own back sometimes!

    Answer by AlleyK at 9:29 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I'm sorry I don't agree with everyone else but I feel that there's no reason my husband should be without me in public. I should be his best friend not anyone else. He knows this and knows I am insecure and jealous. So he generally sticks with me. This is my problem I know. I have major issues.

    Answer by lstrickland at 9:30 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • LOL.. Im sorry but you are over reacting. Everyone needs to go out once in a while. Even if its without you...If they dont they will get annoyed and irritable and want to go out and it will make your life more miserable then nice. We all need time to ourselves.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • his cousin is in from out of town which makes me assume this is kind of a special occasion for him so I wouldn't be pissed. I'd be finding a sitter and letting mamma dog take care of her puppies on her own so I could go have fun right along with them. Everyone needs a break & it sounds kinda like YOU need one, which is why you are frustrated he wants to go out.

    Answer by cat1622 at 10:44 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

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