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2 Bumps

Me and my husband are addicted to our cells

How can you find a way to connect better? I do stuff with the kids all day and clean the house and cook while e works when he comes home we have dinner than I go clean upstairs while he plays with the kids for a bit. But anytime we get free time or kids are in bed we are glued to our phones. I just don't find it interesting because spending time with him sucks anymore. He never wants to talk or communicate and as far as sex goes I always and I mean always initiate which I don't mind sometimes but every now and again I want to feel wanted and desired. He complains I'm on my phone too muh when he's home so I get off of it and he doesn't want to talk or do anything just wants to watch tv so then I get bored get back on phone after an hour and so does he then I'm mad and don't go to bed with him I sleep in guest room

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on Apr. 13, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Make up and sent him a text that you want to have sex....this technology thing can be good but it can also make us disconnect, use it to connect again...apologize and talk and communicate through the phone at least....
    older

    Answer by older at 9:27 AM on Apr. 13, 2013

  • I never really want sex with him much. Not that I don't desire sex I just don't want to have sex with him when I'm pissed off all of the time. He's a good dad but a really crappy husband and friend.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:30 AM on Apr. 13, 2013

  • You need to open up lines of communication use this addiction to do this, let him have everything you are feeling, it is easier to write things down than to speak them, give it a try....work out the problems or you will spend your life being pissed and wasting precious time, life is too short...
    older

    Answer by older at 9:41 AM on Apr. 13, 2013

  • you just MUST find a way to unplug. must must must. for a whole weekend, etc if possible.

    if your kids are with you and work is OK til monday and no immediate family is in the hospital then there's no reason to need your phone
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 10:15 AM on Apr. 13, 2013

  • *My husband and I are addicted to our cells. FYI
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Apr. 13, 2013

  • This is what you need to do. When he is home. except for dinner. Do nothing else but be were he is.
    My DH told me a long time ago (been married 24 years) I did to much when he was home. As in cleaning, reading ect.... So I stoped doing everything when he was home. I would clean when he was at work only.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 12:03 PM on Apr. 13, 2013

  • Would he agree to a screen free evening? No TV, no phones. Then maybe a screen free weekend. Text and ask him.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 6:32 PM on Apr. 13, 2013

  • It's typically a way of avoiding your internal experience. It may not even be that bad in reality, but since it feels threatening you both check out in order to avoid feeling your feelings.
    The most direct way to respond is to "do the opposite" of what you feel like doing when you get the impulse to check out (get online, get involved in reading or some activity) in order to avoid contact with your husband.
    "Doing the opposite" would be letting yourself feel the uncomfortable feeling that triggers the impulse, instead of occupying yourself. Discomfort around being together, anxiety about finding yourselves unable to talk to each other, etc. We can diagnose "issues" in each other but I think the actual problem is some emotion that triggers avoidance in us.
    Not feeling connected & feeling anxious about confronting that, can be it. Confronting it is generally "just" a matter of acknowledging fears & how things are. It's step #1.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:48 PM on Apr. 13, 2013

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