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Well todays my first year anniversay yaay me!! And also i just found out im a pregnant again #2....My husband and i have had a few problems going on with us and such. Anyway i tell him i may be pregnant(before i confirm it with a test) And he says "well u betta get rid of it" Immediately im SHOCKED AND HURT!! Im like OMG no u didnt!!

I want to know what can i do about this? Ive tried talking with him about that comment and he avoids it now..He sent me a text earlier saying life will never be the same!! Ok im like huh explain? He says it didnt mean anything and not to worry about it...Im like omg i cant take these comments he is doing toward me. I really want to leave and go away to my moms or something. THen im like he will come around it's just a phase. Any Suggestions or comments!! Thanks

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:09 PM on Feb. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Wow, all I can say is don't accept a lame apology for that one, its gotta be good and long and a genuine effort to make it up to you for that BS
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I'm an extermist and wholehartedly am against abortions so if your not ok with extreams then ignore my response but if it was me.........

    I'd kill him. You want me to kill my child, I will kill you.
    lstrickland

    Answer by lstrickland at 9:26 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • good grief, remind him this is a child not a stray puppy! He helped create it, so I think he should share the joy in preparing for the new life. No life will never be the same...it will be better!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:29 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • i would pack my stuff and leave him
    nakita72

    Answer by nakita72 at 9:33 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • He should have been in on the decision to have another child if it was a decision and not just birth control not being a hundred percent. Supposing that he wasn't in on the decision, then it may well have come as a shock. Maybe he feels terribly stressed at work right now, so he mis-spoke. Now, that is all trying to give another point of view. The thing is that what he said is inexcusable. He should have reacted with support and love. Perhaps he thought birth control was in place and that he was sure of not having another child at this time. Sometimes women deliberately mislead their husbands because the woman wants another and the husband doesn't. So the husband has a right to be angry. But to say kill the child, no no no. Counseling may be in order, and it may be a good idea to consider being on your own.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:34 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • im the one who posted this quesition and jus wanted to respond to some of the ansewers. well he agreed to have another child but he said next yr sometime. but we were still having unprotected sex and he knows it was prone to happen sooner. He knew i was not on any birthcontrol since our first child was born and she is 4 now. i just dont know. He hasnt been to talkative lately before all this other issues going on. i belive he feels that since were havin our marital problems that we shouldnt be bringing a child into this world.But i know god knows all thing sand he wont put more and us then we can bare. Im tryin to stay strong and be patient with him but my hormones are raging and my emotions are a roller coaster and i really just want to explode at him and tell him how i feel!!! But i dont wanna yell and scream im jus gonna chill since im pregnant and dont need the stress...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I think I'd be gone...at least for a while.
    NorahSethsMommy

    Answer by NorahSethsMommy at 9:56 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • going away for a few days or a week or so mgiht be good for both of you to cool off and think things through on your own for a bit (that means no communication between you two - just alone time). Maybe that will help both of you get the relationship in perspective to see what you both want to do as far as trying to resolve your differences and possibly seeking counselling or getting a marriage book and using that to help (since counselling isn't free). You might find it is better for you two to separate. I know my ex-husband stayed in his 1st marriage because the day he was going to ask for a divorce she told him she was pregnant. They wound up getting a divorce before their son turned 1yr anyway.
    cat1622

    Answer by cat1622 at 10:26 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I think that his response was totally uncalled for. But we need to remember that men can just be insensitve sometimes and he could have just said it wrong. I think you need to calmly talk about this. He could be worried about work or nervous about being a dad again. That is no excuse for his response but it can be a possible explanation for it. You need to try and talk with him and find out where he is. But know that you really don't want to bring a child into a marriage that both parents are not totally on board, he will hold it against you. You are a woman and we have to do what we have to do. SO if he doesn't want this baby, he can move on. Either way he will have to take care of it if you choose to have it. But remember the choice is always yours. Don't have him dictate your future, he can't tell you to do anything you are against.
    jazzy1980

    Answer by jazzy1980 at 11:14 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

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