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Hi all, so recap on last weeks dating adventure

My question was titled, can I just vent!?
So we've been dating just a tad more and I still like him and he def likes me.
There's only one weird thing tho, he introduced me to his kids already.
I am ok with it, but for the kids sake, I want them to have stability.
Anyway that's the only bad thing so far.
My question is, how does LOVE develop, does it always have to be head over heels at first?
or is actually better to just like the person for awhile (opposite of love at first sight)
Because I am not head over heels but we are just extremely compatible it seems.
Thank you

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on Apr. 14, 2013 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Is this the guy you met online?
    So (from the other Q) you felt very infatuated & attracted to him before meeting in person, and now having met him you are not feeling "head over heels" but you like him?

    Yes, love can develop without an intense attraction in the beginning. It can grow without initial infatuation, as well. Spending time with a person & coming to know him well can lead to love for the actual person, which can increase feelings of attraction & attachment. This is assuming the person is someone whose self/being inspires responsiveness & love in you, over time.
    It really depends.
    That is the way it happened with my (now) husband.

    I think if you're "settling" for someone rather than actually exploring true emotional intimacy with a man you eventually come to love, it's different. An intense attraction seems less likely to develop in that scenario. But passion can be a product or outgrowth of connection.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:49 AM on Apr. 15, 2013

  • How old are you?
    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 12:44 PM on Apr. 14, 2013

  • Head over heels love is seriously overrated. In many cultures, it's not considered a valid reason to make a relationship at all. I fell heart and soul for the man who became my husband, and we had some happy years together but didn't work out in the end. The boyfriend I have now, we started as friends and have slowly built a relationship between us. It has taken more effort, but I think what we have is stronger for it.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:55 PM on Apr. 14, 2013

  • The bet way to fall for a guy is to like him first as a friend.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:12 PM on Apr. 14, 2013

  • It just takes time. The puppy love stage is normal, and it won't last. Just enjoy what you have now without trying to push for deeper feelings. Either they'll develop, or they won't.
    Ginger0104

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 1:35 PM on Apr. 14, 2013

  • Give it time. If after a few months, your heart doesn't grow in feelings of attachment for him, you might re-evaluate. But then again, how old are you, what types of guys have you been attracted to in the past (like bad boy types that hurt you). Also, what is your relationship with your own parents. If you had a treacherous relationship with your own dad, you might have a hard time determining what type of man is good for you and feel attracted to guys who are not nice to you or abandon you.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 1:45 PM on Apr. 14, 2013

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