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How o art pubery talk with a girl

I have the book all American girl that I plan on reading with her, but I don't want to just say here read this I also want to talk to her about puberty, periods. She will be 8 in 14 days. She sees me when I am on my period if she walks in on me, but she has never really asked about it all she really knows is that when girls get older they have a period. I want to talk in a way that she won't be embarrassed and that she will come to me. I also want to give her the right info and names for things. My mom never talked to me about that or sex I learned through friends. To this day I am 30 years old and won't talk to my mom about that stuff. I don't want my daughter to be like that, but I am not sure how to start the talk. Also she has been wanting a bra for a year now although she is nowhere near ready for a bra daddy says no cause she doesn't even need one but she really wants one so not sure what to do on that either.

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:40 PM on Apr. 14, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (5)
  • Would Dad go for her to have a sports bra? It's really just like an undershirt for little girls, but it often makes them feel grown up.

    As for the talk, maybe reading the book together, or you reading it aloud to her, would provide a springboard for her questions.

    Thumbs up to you for wanting to do things differently than your mom did. My mom gave me a few pamphlets and recorded a book on cassette tape for me to listen to, but we never talked about anything, and I had a lot of questions I had to get answered by others. I want the experience to be diffrent for my daughter, too.

    Answer by Ballad at 1:55 PM on Apr. 14, 2013

  • why in the world would dad nix the idea of a bra? bras do not sexualize nor force maturation in a child. it is simply another piece of clothing.

    Answer by feralxat at 1:59 PM on Apr. 14, 2013

  • Get several books on the subject out of the library. There are some that would be for her age right now and others for when she gets older. Use them as means to get conversation flowing. Keep communication open and uncomplicated. Sure wish my mom had talked to me about all these things. I didn't even know I could say "no" to a guy............. how I wish i had had more guidance!

    Answer by silverthreads at 2:48 PM on Apr. 14, 2013

  • I got the American Girl book for my dd and we read it together at night a chapter or two at a time, then we would talk about any questions she had. It opened a lot of interesting conversations.
    As far as bras - they have really cute "bralettes" for little girls at Justice and even Target. That's what we got my dd when she was that age and wanted to start wearing them because some of the other girls in her class were wearing them. Many girls want them before they actually have breasts because they get conscious of others being able to see their nipples through their shirt.

    Answer by missanc at 2:53 PM on Apr. 14, 2013

  • I would build on what she already knows. Mention how she knows women get periods (and she will, too) & that it's something that happens every month once someone has matured physically. Explain that a woman's body prepares & releases an egg each month, and the body's way of supporting a possible pregnancy is to line the wall of the uterus with a rich supply of blood & tissue that would nourish the embryo in the earliest days before the placenta forms completely. If the egg does NOT get fertilized, then that layer of blood isn't needed & it gets shed.
    Let her know the other changes associated with maturation, the things she can expect as her body develops to that point of physical maturity. Think in terms of letting her know the what & the why so that she is getting warm, nuanced info from you along with the message that you actually are open & approachable. This will go a long way toward normalizing talking about these things.

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:33 PM on Apr. 14, 2013

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