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2 Bumps

I went bat sh*t crazy today (vent)

me, my mom, my 3 kids and my oldest's friend went to the pool earlier today.

my oldest dd's 7 year old friend took her kickboard from her when she was out of her comfort zone near the wall. it didn't turn out to be anything big, she got a little irritated and told her friend to stop and i overheard everything. so i told the girl not to take the kickboard from her when she's using it because she can't swim well in deep water yet.

i dont even think 10 minutes went by when they were both in the middle of the pool (which only goes to 5 and a half feet deep, but still) and her friend took it from her again. me and my mom were sitting next to eachother chatting, my middle one was sitting with us and my youngest was wading in the shallow end with toys. i cant remember the details exactly, but we both looked at my oldest and her friend when she took the kickboard from her again. all i remember is seeing a panicked look on her face and she started screaming for help, her head barely staying above water, and my mom and i both reacted at the same time. since she was sitting closer to the pool, she jumped in first.

as soon as i realized my mom had her and she was safe, i went bat shit crazy on the other girl. a slew of curse words fell from my mouth involuntarily and i reached a level of anger i didnt even know i had in me. and it pissed me off even more that i had just told her not to do that. she didnt speak a word when she got out of the pool thankfully because i seriously wanted to strangle her and im not exaggerating. i had my mom take her home because i didnt even want to be in the same vicinity as her.

now that im calm i do feel bad for speaking to a child that way and i know i owe her an apology for some of the things i said (half of which i cant even remember i was so mad, but i know they were bad). i just cant believe how angry i got. i have never in my life been so angry. and of course. as soon as the anger faded i started crying. im sure i looked like a real lunatic. good thing we were the only ones at the pool... lol. i feel like ive given the term bat shit crazy a new meaning.

my poor daughter is still so shaken up by it. she keeps saying that if she had done "xyz" then it wouldnt have happened. so on top of everything, she is taking the blame. i just feel so awful about the whole thing and i cant stop thinking about it. neither can she. :(

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tnm786

Asked by tnm786 at 6:17 PM on Apr. 14, 2013 in Relationships

Level 43 (159,602 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • First, don't beat yourself up too much. You were operating on sheer adrenaline and fear and that's when instinct is the only thing you've got.

    Second, I think an apology to the other girl would be in order BUT only for the words.....not for the meaning behind them. The fact that an adult had to jump in the pool to help your daughter underscores the seriousness of the situation. You can let her know that you said what you did because you were scared witless but that does not negate the potential horrific consequences that might have happened.

    Finally, keep reiterating to your daughter that nothing she could have done would have prevented the other girl from being grossly irresponsible.
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 6:21 PM on Apr. 14, 2013

  • Holy shit! My heart skipped a beat just reading that. I am so glad she's ok.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 6:25 PM on Apr. 14, 2013

  • thank you. ugh it was a mom's worst nightmare and it all happened so quickly. my mom and i both felt like we were going to have a heart attack or stroke after.
    tnm786

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 6:28 PM on Apr. 14, 2013

  • I remember once when my youngest ran in the street when she was around three. She pulled her hand out of mine and was gone in a flash and I saw this truck coming down the road and, I swear to you, time completely slowed down.....like in a movie LOL! I could NOT get to her, it seemed like and in my mind's eye I saw that truck hit her.

    I had nightmares for years about that one.
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 6:31 PM on Apr. 14, 2013

  • oh i can imagine! my 3 year old likes to the hand yanking away thing too, infact she did it the other day and i had no choice but to grab her by her hair before she ran into the street! i swear, kids are magnets for trouble.
    tnm786

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 6:36 PM on Apr. 14, 2013

  • Yea, You might want to apoligize. But only for the bad word you said. Not for the yell at her for almost letting your child drowned.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:37 PM on Apr. 14, 2013

  • Apologize for *what* you said, but not for the fact you flipped out. And cut yourself a break, it happens. I went bat shit crazy like that once last winter when I thought my daughter had gotten in the way of a trash truck on her Barbie scooter. I went screaming down the sidewalk, and my daughter was with her daddy, getting ready to go to school. They both thought I'd gone off my nut.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 6:41 PM on Apr. 14, 2013

  • Oh, and as to the hand yanking and running off thing, that's the cardinal sin in this family. It means we stop whatever fun we're having and go home, period, or if we're at a store, my daughter goes straight in the cart--which at five is definitely not cool. I even put her in a high chair at a restaurant not long ago for doing that. I can't see her, and it's imperative that she knows running off from me is absolutely not going to happen.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 6:44 PM on Apr. 14, 2013

  • Have you talked to the other girl's mom yet? I would make contact with her and discuss everything you've written here.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:57 PM on Apr. 14, 2013

  • Don't be so hard on yourself, I probably would have gone bat shit crazy too! you were mama bear looking out for her cub..understandable!
    older

    Answer by older at 7:09 PM on Apr. 14, 2013

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