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is it wrong for me to be jealous?

i was susposed to be due with my sister we were two weeks apart in our pregnancy but i just recently had a m/c and my mom is showing me baby clothes that she had bought her and i told her why do i care? its soo hard see her pregnant and talking about the baby is wrong for me to be jealous??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Feb. 16, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (9)
  • So sorry for your loss, I think it is perfectly normal for you to have these feelings and your family should be sensitive to your feelings at this time.
    mommy2tu

    Answer by mommy2tu at 9:42 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • honestly? It's normal. They should be handling you with "kid gloves". It is kind of in-sensitive to shove it in your face. I have had 2 m/c ( in a row) and the first one took me an entire year to get over. I remember going into a used baby clothing store with a friend and feeling like I wanted to "throw up". It is very hard. It also seems like the whole world is pregnant and having successful pregnancies and you are left wondering "why". You have ever right to grieve.. at your own pace. Just know that it isn't your sister's fault and maybe you can come to a place of forgiveness for all that you have been through. Sorry about your loss.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • i am sooo happy for her i am its just sooo hard i try to but on a fake smile and be happy even though im really dying inside i feel bad that i get jealous i try not to but its hard ;(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:51 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • what a heartbreaking thing. you absolutly have a right to be upset that your family is not being sensitive. Try talking to them about it or if you aren't comfortable doing that a couple pointed comments when they are being insensisitve should get the point across (wow, that makes it easier for me to deal with this, thanks mom.). Please do not let it turn into resentment towards them. Your real pain is over the loss of your baby and your family does love you. Don't allow your pain to morph into a problem with them. I am praying for you and if you need someone to talk to please feel free to message me. hang in there.
    hannahjoy17

    Answer by hannahjoy17 at 9:54 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I think it's probably normal to feel like that. I hope that your family takes inot account that you might not be too thrilled about baby stuff right now...and to go easy on you. Again, I'm so sorry.
    momjoy1027

    Answer by momjoy1027 at 9:55 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Oh I am so sorry to hear of your mc. You poor dear, and with your family joyous over your sister's pregnancy. What you must realize is that your sister's pregnancy is nothing to do with your mc. You should not be jealous or resentful. It is fine to cry and cry when you are by yourself, but be happy for your sister. You have a new niece or nephew on the way, and you love your sister and will love her child. Of course it will be tough on you to see a healthy baby, but let your love be your guide and not your bitterness. I am crying for you. I know that you have this reminder of your loss. but you are strong and will be stronger because of this trial for you. Decide for yourself that you will only show your happiness for your sister. Do your weeping in private where she and your family won't be hurt.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:56 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I should add that my sister had a mc, and she has been unfailingly gracious about my having two healthy children. I still mourn the loss of her baby.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:58 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • ty soo much for helping me out means alot i know its not the end of the world for me its just soo hard ..
    proud_mum_mum

    Answer by proud_mum_mum at 10:00 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • You're not wrong, it's totally normal. I had a miscarriage on January 6, and my friend and I were due very close to each other, and she talks about her morning sickness and pregnancy, and I get very jealous. She's careful about talking about it though, because she knows I'm still upset.
    AudMama

    Answer by AudMama at 2:33 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

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