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Update on coat lady (anon because it is crazy info about her)...any good advice i can pass along to her?

ok...back story
lady that i really do not know, her kids go to the same school as mine
we chat at pickup with all the other moms
only know her first name
she hates my coat and buys me a new one
blah blah blah
i gave it back to her because i do not need a more attractive coat AND i thought she would blab to everyone that she had to give me a more attractive coat... and i thought she was unstable and she talks and talks
( i really think she has some mental issues, bipolar comes to mind- but i am not a doctor.

today, after dropping off my child, walking back to my car, she calls me over to the car she was in
she was in passanger seat as she had another mom drop off her kids at school door
because the cops are after her
she threw a rock threw her ex husbands house window his weekend
cops were at her house, and she just did not go to the door
tells me, this is not the first incident

few weeks ago her husband was talked out of getting a restraining order against her by his lawyer
looks like that restraining order will go through for sure now
and...? i do not know what else

only thing i could advise her was- talk to your lawyer and
1) offer to pay for window
2) offer to go to anger management classes or whatever therapy (she said she has not seen her therapist in a while)
3) have a neutral place for pick up and drop of their children
and i said "maybe it would get pleaded down to misdemeanor- if you go in with your lawyer and not make cops come and get you" (however if she has past 'issues' with ex that involved the police- this could have been very wrong advise from me)- however going in better than police having to come get you- right?

feel bad for her, and tried not to give legal advice, but but tried to make her call her lawyer again
would never tell anyone that knows her at all, so i thought i would tell you all
if i see her again before she gets 'picked up' by cops

...any good advice i can pass along to her?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:56 AM on Apr. 15, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • I think your advise is good. First thing she should do is go to her attorney and let her attorney hammer out the details. She does sound way off her rocker. It would be better for her to go in willingly than for her to get arrested in front of the whole schools since that would be the logical place to look for her other than her home or job.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:00 AM on Apr. 15, 2013

  • I have no advice for her but she seems a little forward for someone you are not that friendly with. So my advice to you is not to get involved at all. She seems like a loose cannon & like you said my have mental issues. She may show up at you door trying to hide or turn her anger on you. Like the "messenger always gets shot". So smile & act like you are very late for an appt. or just wave & drive by quickly. Say your cousin is ill & you gotta go or something.


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 10:03 AM on Apr. 15, 2013

  • my = may

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 10:04 AM on Apr. 15, 2013

  • i also told her the the other mom that drove her kids to school (do not know her name)
    we both said we thought the police will not go to the school to arrest her for a rock through exes window
    if she keeps avoiding the police .... they might

    we live in a nice burb with low crime rate, so police have plenty of time to look for her
    if we were in the city- police have way bigger fish to fry and would not have time to pick her up- they would wait until she had traffic violation

    but here- police WILL seek her out

    i feel bad for her, hope she gets on some meds
    one she is on top of the world, next she is the lowest of low- she has no middle days
    i think i will be even more grateful for my endless ' middle days', and enjoy my routine simple life

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:08 AM on Apr. 15, 2013

  • she does not know where i live, she does not even know my name (maybe my nickname)
    and lucky for me, she has befriended that other mom
    do not know the other mom, or even which kid is hers, but she was driving the 'coat lady' around in her car and dropped the coat lady's kids at the school, while coat lady waited in her car

    ... no way i will get involved in that

    coat lady asked me what i thought the judge would do (the judge in this burb is my lawyer for my custody case that is in the city)
    i avoided that topic like the plague.. not in a million years will i say anything to my lawyer (the judge) on her behave- i have my lawyer for my custody stuff, and would not have anything influence with him regarding her anyway.

    i did start parking in a different area after the coat thing, seems the other mom parks there- might have to park on another street to avoid any further involvement


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:13 AM on Apr. 15, 2013

  • I wouldn't be so concerned about her being arrested in front of the school, but once she pulls away and they follow her away from the school she may end up getting arrested in front of her own child, which will be just as damaging.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:14 AM on Apr. 15, 2013

  • * anyone STILL think, i should have accepted the coat with a smile
    because she was just being nice and i am a rude person for not wanting her more attractive coat gift

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:15 AM on Apr. 15, 2013

  • I think you need to disconnect from this person FAST.

    Keep in mind that you only know a part of the story; there may be some really serious stuff you DON'T know about.

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:38 AM on Apr. 15, 2013

  • I think the whole coat thing was very inappropriate on her part. It was bizarre since you weren't really a regular friend. So if you kept it or returned it, it was right either way. It was nice of her but just hearing about all the other odd behavior tells me she has issues that you probably would be better off not getting involved in & perhaps was looking for a comrade in her shenanigans..


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 10:39 AM on Apr. 15, 2013

  • * anyone STILL think, i should have accepted the coat with a smile

    Your instinct to give it back to her was the right one.  


    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:42 AM on Apr. 15, 2013

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