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Should I check on DH friend or let it go?

DH's friend had an aneurysm about a week+ ago. He was going to go with another friend but that plan was changed and he didn't go. Then he finds out that the friend was taken back to the hospital after having a stroke and is partially paralyzed. I've been asking him how the guy is doing? When is he going to see him? Does he want me to call and check on him? But DH is like no there's no need to call or visit him he's going to be sleep any way. I even offered to let DS spend the night at a relatives and then after taking DD to school we could go together and see him but was told no that's not necessary. His wife has family that's there and can give her a break. I'm not trying to be negative & want to stay positive but know that life changes in the blink of an eye. My father used to say the same things,,, I'll see "John Doe" later, time goes past & he gets busy or sidetracked and you hear that the person passed. I don't want DH to have regrets about not visiting him. I know it's been a while since they've talked or seen each other. It's been 7 years since his friend came over to our place. I remember how long because that was when we lost our daughter and he came over. I don't want to overstep but I do want his wife to know that we were concerned and was thinking of him even if he is asleep. I don't think that DH should use a 2nd party to find out how the guy's doing when he / I can just call.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:26 PM on Apr. 15, 2013 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • This is not your friend, he is your DH's friend. Let him take the lead.

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:20 PM on Apr. 15, 2013

  • Why don't you pick up the phone, and call the wife, and ask her if you can do anything.

    Answer by jerseydiva at 4:28 PM on Apr. 15, 2013

  • Do whatever your heart tells you, it is obviously telling you to check up on him, if this is the case, do so, then pass on the info to hubby, I would if he was unwilling to....

    Answer by older at 4:29 PM on Apr. 15, 2013

  • Call his wife and see how he is and ask if there's any way you can help.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:43 PM on Apr. 15, 2013

  • If you don't feel comfortable calling, you could always send a small bouquet of flowers from you and your husband with a short note of encouragement, just so the wife knows you are thinking of them.

    Answer by Ballad at 5:05 PM on Apr. 15, 2013

  • I agree with the PP's, call the wife and let her know you are thinking about them and ask if you can help out in any way.

    Answer by kmath at 4:51 PM on Apr. 15, 2013

  • I understand that it is his friend.....but I agree with Ballad, send a bouquet of flowers with a short note. Depending on who the friend is, I would pick up the phone and call the wife. Yes, she might have family/friends that can give her a break, but it's always nice to know ppl care.

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 8:48 PM on Apr. 15, 2013

  • @Dardenella,,, that's what I'm feeling. I'm hoping that he takes it more seriously. I mean within a week of each other, 2 serious medical problems.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:23 PM on Apr. 15, 2013