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Pros and cons of going for custody?

My dd father is acting like I have to cater to him but we don't have a custody agreement so she is with me because he never wanted to go to court. He tried to manipulate me when she was a baby. To have him take her with out an agreement. I didn't do it. She is four and he acting the same way now . So what are the pros and cons of going for custody now? I want this settled. I know this might have him share her but it has to end these games.

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libramoon007

Asked by libramoon007 at 9:40 PM on Apr. 15, 2013 in Parenting Debate

Level 13 (983 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Is he a fit parent? Would your daughter be safe and happy going with him part of the time?
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 9:49 PM on Apr. 15, 2013

  • Get it in writing. Otherwise neither of you has any legal recourse against the other.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 10:34 PM on Apr. 15, 2013

  • He never has been with her. I have always had her. Have not seen her in a year. Before that a a year and a half. I live 3 hrs from him. I don't trust him with her. He has never proven unfit but should we just go on as we are. 4 years is a long time to be in someone's life on a regular basis. If a man wants to be part of a child's life he would make it happen.
    I will get in writing. It is time for everyone.
    libramoon007

    Comment by libramoon007 (original poster) at 11:17 PM on Apr. 15, 2013

  • I am going through a custody battle at the moment and it's a stressful, longwinded and can be messy process. The only reason I am going through it is because my ex partner was violent and my (also 4 year old) son witnessed much of it. I would advise you to really think about it. Your daughter lives with you anyway and as he has had no contact for a year, he can't just come and go as he pleases. I would try to have a conversation with him and see if he is really serious about being a part of your daughters life and if he is, then get some sort of rota up together. Start of with a couple of hours at a time and as your daughter doesn't actually know him, get it supervised (contact your local social services and they can help you with this) and then just go from there. This will be the test to see if he is serious and if he's not, he'll walk but if he is, your daughter has both parents in her life which can be beneficial to her.
    AlwaysMoving

    Answer by AlwaysMoving at 3:39 AM on Apr. 16, 2013

  • If she doesn't know him well, and he hasn't even seen her in a year, he likely wouldn't get 50/50 - at least not right away. They'd likely order a few hours on a Saturday, and work up from there. It would be an order, so if he took off with her, you'd have the ability to get him picked up and that would help prove that he shouldn't have custody.

    Regardless of what the order ends up saying, getting a court order stipulating custody would be a very good thing.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:31 AM on Apr. 16, 2013

  • He lives 3 hrs away. I wonder if they consider distance in their decisions. Like meet half way and no over nite s yet ect. I always have tried to talk to him. He threatens but never has wanted a real wanted to discuss it.
    libramoon007

    Comment by libramoon007 (original poster) at 6:36 PM on Apr. 16, 2013

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