My ex is a pretty bad liar. This whole thing is a long story so I'll try to make it short.
First huge lie: I didn't smoke when we were dating but he did. When the subject of marriage came up I said I'd never marry a smoker. He claimed he quit, we got married. Several months later I found out he was doing it behind my back. I suspected it but he kept denying it.
Second huge lie: He told me he was ready to start a family. We talked it over and decided to start trying. I got pregnant really quick, like the next time I ovulated quick. His response when I told him: "that was quick." He seemed happy about it though. Two months later he acted like he didn't want anything to do with me. At the time he was living with his mom and I lived in a trailer. He had no phone so I couldn't contact him. (the living apart thing is a long story) He hasn't really ever been there for us and tried to deny our son was his.
Now recently he's acted like he wants us back in his life. He's being really nice and coming to see our son regularly. Although we are divorced now I'd consider taking him back if he told me exactly why he treated me like he did when I was pregnant and after. of course he'd have to apologize and prove that I could trust him again.
That is where the problem is this time. Someone told him I was cheating and he believed them without even giving me the chance to defend myself. This person doesn't really know me and I'm not sure where they got their story. I didn't cheat. I don't believe that story. Then he told me he couldn't pay child support for a long time because he had testicular cancer and had a lot of medical bills because he didn't have insurance. He described some kind of pills he was prescribed that were very expensive, made him very sick, and could barely go to work. Supposedly these pills shrunk the cancer and it's in remission now.
I'm calling bullshit because everything I've been reading about testicular cancer and it seems there are 3 treatments: surgery, radiation, and chemo. He didn't have surgery. He said nothing about radiation. He couldn't have had chemo because he still has hair. There's no chance it could have grown back because he has very long hair.
I think he's lying to save face. He seems genuine in wanting us back, but why lie? I want to confront him but I'm not sure how.
Asked by Anonymous at 4:31 AM on Apr. 16, 2013 in Relationships
Answer by girlwithC at 6:19 AM on Apr. 16, 2013
Answer by wendythewriter at 8:01 AM on Apr. 16, 2013
Answer by LostSoul88 at 9:12 AM on Apr. 16, 2013
Answer by NannyB. at 9:13 AM on Apr. 16, 2013
Why would you even consider taking him back when he denied that your child is his?
There is a saying that goes 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.'
I am not saying that some people don't deserve a second chance, but he's had more chances than he deserves and continues to disappoint you. Learn from it. You allowing him to come into your life (and the life of your child) and do the same thing will just show your son that this is normal behavior. He will continue the cycle if you don't break it for him.
Answer by QuinnMae at 9:27 AM on Apr. 16, 2013
Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:28 PM on Apr. 16, 2013
Answer by Ballad at 2:12 PM on Apr. 16, 2013