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Have you ever experienced?

Hi! I would like to know if you have experienced that if your husband has news or something important he tells his friend or friends first and then you or even family members? Is very annoying to know that he decides to tell everybody first and then me. By that time of course Im not going to be happy instead just the opposite. Today I told him I wanted to go to the doctor so he can help me find out why Im not getting pregnant and because we are moving soon he said wait until we get to the new place so you can do everything. I didnt take it in the right way because it doesnt matter if we are relocating is about seeing the doctor so he can tell me what is viable or not but today as soon as he found out we are moving those were big important news. So if Im not receiving the support why should I give it to him. No way. Communication? yeah is not working. Therapy? hes against it and he says yes but at the end he doesnt want to do it. Divorce? early stage and is not about just divorcing.

I need advice. About me standing up and defending myself? I have.....so is not about that.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:28 AM on Apr. 17, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Yes, my husband always told everybody else the news and I found it out as he was telling someone else or as a "by the way" sometime much later. I told him repeatedly that I wanted the news first. Tell your husband why you want the news first, that you want to feel that you are important in his life. This is a tricky time for you - considering ending your marriage because (from what you've said) he doesn't place your opinion as highly as he should. Tell him how it makes you feel. Don't go on and on about it. Tell him and then move on to something else- guys don't like heart to hearts. It may take some gentle reminding before he understands. If you want to save your marriage, don't try to "pay him back" for things he does that hurts your feelings. Bring new enthusiasm into your marriage, make him feel like the king of the castle and that home is where he wants to be. Don't push him away by being angry.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:25 AM on Apr. 17, 2013

  • It's a mutual respect you both should have for each other. My Husband and I agreed years ago that we talk to each other first before anyone else because that's why we're together.
    Tell your Husband that you will give him the same respect. We don't do anything without talking to each other first, and that goes for everything.
    Communication is key in every aspect of your relationship. If you're not talking to each other, then nothing's going to get solved. Make a time to sit down with him, and talk. Don't confront him, and don't tell him what he needs to do, tell him how it makes you feel when he doesn't respect you. Hope it gets better...
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 9:09 AM on Apr. 17, 2013

  • If you're marriage has issues that could result in divorce, I think I'd work on them before trying to get pregnant.

    Good luck mama!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:40 AM on Apr. 17, 2013

  • Well, the last thing you need is a baby! I want to understand, your husband found out you all were being re-located, and he told everyone else before you? I find that odd, that he didn't call you first, so you need to work on the 2 of you, before you bring a baby into the world.
    jerseydiva

    Answer by jerseydiva at 10:55 AM on Apr. 17, 2013

  • Consider getting a couples counselor after you move. It doesn't have to be an ongoing thing; sometimes just a few sessions will get you both back on the same page. Best of luck.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 1:27 PM on Apr. 17, 2013

  • Oh, and one other thing. I know from experience that trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant can put a ton of stress on a marriage. You both feel disappointed, maybe even resentful, and then you don't talk to each other about things because you don't want to have any more drama or hurt in the relationship. A counselor can also help with this, but the bottom line is, the relationship is more than just about making a baby. The relationship is what will make a home for the baby, and what will be there after the baby is grown and gone.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 1:31 PM on Apr. 17, 2013

  • If you are having problems in your marriage. Why are you trying to bring a kid into the mix? Fix your marriage first.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:44 PM on Apr. 17, 2013

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