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2 Bumps

Would this annoy you too ?

My friend and I have been friends for many years.... but lately I find myself pulling away from her --- mainly because of how her children behave and she acts about it ... ( for example her oldest son has gotten kicked out of KINDERGARTEN 6 times this year for his behavior and she BLAMES THE TEACHER ) ...

My children are no angels but her kids are MONSTERS ... she does nothing about the way they act , but then has no problem telling other parents what their kids are doing wrong.

Anyways, she is now pregnant with her 3rd child... I had to plan her baby shower ( and pay for everything ) ... This is her last baby , and her first daughter and she is very excited... I went tot eh extremes to make it perfect - pink and girly, everything she wanted ......... On the invites she had me put NO KIDS ...

Well now she wants to bring her 2 boys... let them open the presents and stuff ....... My problem is that her boys will literally ruin everything .... A few months ago we had to have her younger sons birthday party at my house.... it took me a week to clean up what HE did .... As soon as they walked into my door, it was like they were wild animals... pulling down decorations... throwing stuff ( even cake) .... and when opening gifts it is like they are wild aniamls eating ........ I KNOW this is how the baby shower will be and I dont think it is fair to me and the other guests who are not aloud to bring their ( more) well behaved children.... Also I know myself and a few other spent alot of time picking out gifts and the wrapping ( trying to make everything extra special like she wanted) .... what is the point in that fi she is going to let the boys tear everything up ?


Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:43 PM on Apr. 17, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Just tell her NO> Tell her this shower is about her and the new baby.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 2:47 PM on Apr. 17, 2013

  • if you planned it and paid for everything, then it is really your shower.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 2:48 PM on Apr. 17, 2013

  • Tell her no kids means no kids. Maybe recommend a babysitter--or a zookeeper--for her boys.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 2:50 PM on Apr. 17, 2013

  • What lost said, tell her it's about the new baby. And, after she gives birth & becomes busier, start distancing yourself from her.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 2:51 PM on Apr. 17, 2013

  • There is no reason in the world why you HAVE to do anything.
    I would tell her that she is the one who specified no children and se needs to stick to that rule herself. If she objects just tell her that you will not be throwing the baby shower after all and you will inform the other guests.

    BTW the one that throws the shower pays for the shower, so that is not out of the ordinary.

    I would distance myself for the sake of my kids.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:55 PM on Apr. 17, 2013

  • Sounds like it is time to put your foot down, or up her ass. Just inform her. Our kids can't come, yours can't either. If she says something like " it's my party" . Say, you paid for it all.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:18 PM on Apr. 17, 2013

  • I would be telling her no kids means no kids, hers included. I would be distancing myself from her quickly.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 3:19 PM on Apr. 17, 2013

  • I'd tell her that since she specified NO KIDS, you have created a beautiful shower for her that is not kid-friendly, and not an appropriate place for children. And that you really want to enjoy this time focusing on her and her new daughter-to-be. That no little boy could possibly enjoy the event, and it's best to leave them with daddy...
    Nimue930

    Answer by Nimue930 at 4:19 PM on Apr. 17, 2013

  • I have always been under the impression that the person giving the baby shower Pays for the baby shower. The 3 I have held I paid for myself and never tried to dictate who could or could not come. If you don't want her kids at your house, is it too late to change the location? Her house maybe?
    I would tell her it's not a very kid friendly party since you were under the impression kids weren't coming and ask her if she thinks it would be OK for the kids to stay home/with a sitter etc. but if she says no she wants her kids there, then what can you do? She will just show up with them anyways so what will you do make them stay in the car? No, so just try to make adjustments where you can, and distance yourself from her in the future.
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 5:12 PM on Apr. 17, 2013

  • I am cracking up at opening gifts like they are wild animals eating. But yeah I would tell her no kids. Baby showers are usually for mom and new baby.
    JayRo00

    Answer by JayRo00 at 1:13 AM on Apr. 19, 2013

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