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How can I have an orgasm?

Okay, embarassing, but I don't think I've ever had an orgasm. Or if I have, an orgasm isn't all that great :P My husband and I were both virgins when we got married and haven't had that much experience :P He used to always ask me, "Did you have an orgasm?". So I think that I kinda "faked" some of my pleasure (oops!). I didn't want him to feel like a failure. Anyways, the advice always seems to be "give yourself one, so that you can show him how to give you one". So, naive me is asking, how can I give myself one?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Feb. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • hon when you find out that let me know lol pleaseee

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:28 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • try to rub your clit lightly and have him insert his fingers into you. or you can do this yourself also vibraters do teh job. its hard to explain, sorry if this does not help

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:28 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • It's really different for every woman so it's hard to give advice. I would just recommend a good vibrator and go exploring!

    Answer by Slinkee at 10:30 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Honestly, exploration is a good way to go. Just experiment and have fun with it. A vibrator can also be a big help. Although, recently for me, oral has been the only thing to get me over the edge.

    Answer by saphire_eyes802 at 10:31 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • Its all in your head!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I don't know how you can give yourself one, but I know how I usually achieve one. I have to be on top sitting on my hubby. Then I just move to my rythym and... well that's what gets me going. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • there are soooo many answers to this question and honestly, the only real way you are going to figure it out is by you and hubby practicing. Most important is RELAX! If you are trying to have one and you are worried about it, it just isn't going to happen. I used to only be able to have one with clitoral stimulation. Now I have learned to have several different kinds of orgasms but it took me years to get there. The one person who typed that it is all in your head is true to a point, which is why I say to relax. You also need to come clean with your husband. He knows you were both inexperienced so it won't be a huge surprise that you've been faking. Be honest & tell him you weren't sure since you didn't know and now you want to explore that together with him. I'm pretty sure there isn't going to be a negative outcome to that conversation. He may be hurt initially because you faked but he is going to want to learn to please you

    Answer by cat1622 at 10:36 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • okay i was in the same place you are for a long time. for me a lot of it really was in my i was really focused on that and it just made it all not so much fun...if that makes sense. i cant really explain to you how to have one other than stop thinking about it and have fun. try something different with your SO, go exploring together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • A vibrator is a great thing.

    Also, this works for me - I clench my muscles down really hard repeatedly and I can get pretty close! If you do this while having sex, maybe you can have one. It also feels good to him..

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • A lot of women are more likely to have an orgasm clitorally, not just vaginally ( though if you have blended one, it's out of this world). If you're embarrassed to play with your DH, try it alone.
    Because there are so many techniques, read the following link. It has some great info.

    You can go from there and then play with DH. The position that I found works best is woman on top, penis inside vagina and woman grinding on mans pelvis or with a small vibrating bullet on the clitoris. It's a sure fire way to get a blended orgasm.
    Remember to relax and sometimes it takes a little while to get the hang of it, but once you know what you're doing, it gets easier and easier to climax.

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 10:50 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

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