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3 Bumps

How do i handle the guilt Of an affair?

I had an affair with a married man. He divorced his wife and left her for me. He was best friends with my ex boyfriend and before I broke it off with my ex, we all 4 would hang out and ran with same crowd. How do I cope and am i sinning

Answer Question
 
CJDCRJ1

Asked by CJDCRJ1 at 6:27 PM on Apr. 18, 2013 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • First, off I don't believe in "sin". But, yeah, that's quite a pickle there.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 6:38 PM on Apr. 18, 2013

  • Are you still in the relationship? Are the other parties still friends?

    From experience, I know you have to come to the point where you realize you truly hurt other people. You have to recognize your part in it and not just blame everybody else. But then you have to forgive yourself for being human and make a conscious choice to put the past in the past and leave it there. Also, you have to do what you can to make it right with the others if you still have contact with them.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 6:40 PM on Apr. 18, 2013

  • Whatever! I'll pass on this malarky.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 6:43 PM on Apr. 18, 2013

  • I also agree with Ballad...but you shouldn't have done it in the first place, then you wouldn't be feeling guilty. Since you had an affair with this once married man, and he left her for you, what makes you think he will not do it to you? IMO, a cheater will always be a cheater, and neither one of you will never be able to trust each other 100%. So again, this "relationship" is doomed from the get go.
    Michigan-Mom74

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 6:47 PM on Apr. 18, 2013

  • Leave them all and find someone else...this time make sure he is not attached or is close with anyone you know.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 7:05 PM on Apr. 18, 2013

  • It's hard when you start a relationship like this. You're on the right track in trying to acknowledge your own faults and sins. You can't change the past.
    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 7:06 PM on Apr. 18, 2013

  • I don't know. I guess you will always have to carry some level of guilt. I suppose you should learn a lesson from this experience and accept that those you hurt may never forgive you. Maybe find a new circle to run in.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 7:27 PM on Apr. 18, 2013

  • I don't believe in sin, either. You did something that hurt people, and that you have to deal with.
    I hope it was at least for love, and not just for a quick piece of ass.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 7:37 PM on Apr. 18, 2013

  • Are you with the guy still? That dumped his wife for you?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:37 PM on Apr. 18, 2013

  • if he cheated on his wife with you
    chances are very good he will cheat on you with another woman

    just how it usually works out

    good luck with your situation
    try to forgive yourself and move on, by not doing that low down shit again
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:02 PM on Apr. 18, 2013

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