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Hmmm, what to do (anon but i am a regular) adult content

i was just on fb and noticed while cleaning up old stuff
that my ex husband lives in this state again
before we got divorced he sold our home (without my knowledge) as a single person and fled the state
i did get divorce after more than a year because i did not know where he was and 9 grand awarded to me because he sold our house and this was half the profits
because he left state (and of course he has never paid me a cent)... i went as far as making him in contempt of court- he is not in same state so nothing would happen from it unless he came back into this state and got picked up by police

so the question is
now that i know he is in state, and he posted which town he lives in and it is a very small one, so finding him would be easy... do i have my lawyer do the last filing for contempt of court, which will make him have a warrant for his arrest, and he would be picked up and have to pay 9 grand to me before he is released (sure he will get a bond to get released) but now that he is on state, i could go after the house profits, and him. knowing him, he does not have this kind of money

want to do


(it has been 8 years or so)
just a bit of background
he was a complete asshole, abusive- both verbal and got physical, a serial cheater and he even raped me when i was packing up to leave his ass

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:02 AM on Apr. 19, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • If you have the money to do so, go or it.

    Answer by 3libras at 10:03 AM on Apr. 19, 2013

  • I don't know if there are statutes of limitation, but it's worth a call to your attorney or the police non-emergency number.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:05 AM on Apr. 19, 2013

  • it would not cost so much compared to the 9 grand he owes me

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:05 AM on Apr. 19, 2013

  • there is not a warrant for him now, but all it would take is some papers filed in court where i got the divorce
    and then they pick him up

    statue of limitations- good question

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:06 AM on Apr. 19, 2013

  • Go after the SOB. He needs be taught that his actions have consequences.

    Answer by feralxat at 10:08 AM on Apr. 19, 2013

  • That's a hard one, since there are a few ways you could look at it. Its been 8 years, but that doesn't make what he did to you & put you through any less wrong. If he was abusive, etc., you need to decide if you're ready to face him, & dig this up again, by taking him to court. Do you think this would put you in danger, like having him come after you because he's angry? If you need this for closure or the principle of it, & have no fear that he would retaliate against you, then I'd say he owes it to you, you deserve what is rightfully yours, & I'd go for it though. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do!

    Answer by HappyEndings at 10:12 AM on Apr. 19, 2013

  • If he doesn't have the money & he has a history of skipping the state then he'll do some jail time &/or if he is working on the books then they'll garnish his wages. Go for it & don't let anyone you or he know that you know he is back in the state until your Lawyer gets the papers filed to have him arrested. HURRY!!!

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 10:15 AM on Apr. 19, 2013

  • I would get on it right now, there may be some kind of staute of limitations, he owes it, he should pay it.

    Answer by jerseydiva at 10:35 AM on Apr. 19, 2013

  • My only thought, based on my experiences with my ex being in contempt for child support nonpayment (which is different, so they may handle it differently, but it's something to consider), if he says he doesn't have the money, he may do some jail time (there is a limit to how long they can keep him in, I think), but they also might set a "purge" amount, kind of like a bond, of a percentage of what he owes - say, he pays $500 of the $9000 to get out of jail. Which, if they do it that way, and he continues to refuse to pay, you would have to keep doing it over and over to get all he owes you, which could add up, not to mention be extremely frustrating to you, and time consuming.

    You're owed the money, so on principle, I would say do it. But you might want to think about if it would be worth the repeated filings to get it all if he's really going to continue to be an ass about it.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 11:08 AM on Apr. 19, 2013

  • Iwouldand i yu have't cldupsr nd back child support

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:12 AM on Apr. 19, 2013

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