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My husband and I separated about a year ago.
Our oldest daughter (18) moved away beforehand (knew we were going to split up) and lives with her boyfriend of 4 years.
When our house finally sold, my youngest daughter (15) moved with me to live near our oldest daughter and family. My ex stayed in the area. We live a province apart. Neither one of our girls had/have the best relationship with their dad.
Now - 6 months ago - I met a man, we dated for a few months and then since it was taking me longer to find a job, he lost his due to an injury on the job and it was seasonal....I was faced with renting out a room to make ends meet or having him move in with me. I discussed this with both my kids and they said they would feel more comfortable with my bf living here over a total stranger (who would have been a female).
He moved in, it was strange but we adjusted. He has never married, never had children. He struggled for months to find work - and that put a lot of stress on our relationship. However, he has recently found a full-time job and loves it.
My kids have gone from thinking he is ok - to now they downright hate him. My youngest is now telling me that he has to go or she will leave. He voiced his opinion a few times about something,,,,,my girls took offence to it, feelings got hurt and now they hate him - even though we have talked about it and he has apologized. My oldest runs to her dad about EVERYTHING. My youngest holds alot inside.
My youngest has struggled with the relationship with her dad, the move, the new relationship. She has many issues. She was bullied in school to the point I have pulled her out of school and am home schooling her. She's been cutting, suicidal at points. We've sought out counseling for her, she goes regularly. We've been to the dr. I have an open door policy with her when she knows she can talk to me about anything. This makes her sound bad - but she really is a good kid. To look at her you would never know how much she is hurting inside. I'm at my wits end.
Do I put my happiness aside until my youngest is finally happy with herself and feels in control of her life? end things with my boyfriend, make him move out because my kids hate him??? Or is there a way to make them understand mom needs to be happy too?
I watched my sister's kids destroy every single relationship my sister tried to have and sadly, I wonder if this is what my kids are doing (even though they say they are not).
Answer by cassie_kellison at 12:46 PM on Apr. 19, 2013
Answer by butterflyblue19 at 12:46 PM on Apr. 19, 2013
Answer by Nimue930 at 12:49 PM on Apr. 19, 2013
Answer by feralxat at 12:50 PM on Apr. 19, 2013
Answer by QuinnMae at 12:50 PM on Apr. 19, 2013
Answer by missanc at 12:52 PM on Apr. 19, 2013
Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 1:00 PM on Apr. 19, 2013
Answer by jerseydiva at 1:29 PM on Apr. 19, 2013
Answer by wendythewriter at 1:40 PM on Apr. 19, 2013