Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is an apology enough?

My husband pisses me off a lot. We get into so many fights! He doesn't do anything too drastic or mean, but we've been fighting so much recently, and it gets annoying. He apologizes when he's wrong, which is almost all of the time, but is that enough? He just keeps repeating stupid mistakes and its become routine, to fight n make up all the time.

Answer Question
 
fefe87

Asked by fefe87 at 11:19 PM on Feb. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,737 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • No, that's when you need to say, " Sweetie, your apology means absolutely nothing to me if you continue to do the same thing, over and over"
    nwdeserangel

    Answer by nwdeserangel at 11:23 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I agree, if he really was sorry he would stop doing the same thing over and over again. Tell him that next time he says "I'm sorry".
    lilbit837

    Answer by lilbit837 at 11:24 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • I AM GOING THROUGH A VERY SIMILAR SITUTATION WITH MY HUBBY, I TOLD HIM JUST TODAY INFACT THAT ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS, IT IS SCARY HOW CLOSE THE SITUTATIONS ARE.. WHEN I TOLD HIM THIS OF COURSE HE SAID SORRY YET AGAIN BUT I GUESS WHAT WE NEED TO DO IS VOICE HOW THINGS ARE BOTHERING THE RELATIONSHIP AND WAIT FOR THEM TO GET A CLUE, WHAT I AM GOING TO DO IS HELP POINT OUT THE THINGS THAT HE DOES THAT GET UNDER MY SKIN AND BEFORE IT GETS TO THE FIGHTING LEVEL TRY TO TALK AND FIX IT AS BEST AS WE CAN.. GOOD LUCK AND LET ME KNOW HOW IT ALL TURNS OUT FOR YOU MAYBE WE CAN COMPARE NOTES OR SOMETHING LATER
    NOWLIN8408

    Answer by NOWLIN8408 at 11:45 PM on Feb. 16, 2009

  • If you practice the music the same way you always have, it will always sound the same as it always has.

    Let him know, nicely, that if he keeps doing the same things over & over & doesn't make a conscious effort to change them, he will always get the same result. It takes a lot of re-parenting yourself & this will sound cheesy, but talk to yourself about the situation every day. Strive to make a difference. Make every attempt to avoid the compulsive action he's been taking, or change the reactions he's been giving.

    I'm sure you already do, but be really conscious of the arguements, make sure you are well-informed, & pick your battles, babe. Not everything is worth getting upset at. I've realized that sometimes when I let something go that normally would bother me, he notices the fact that I don't retaliate, & makes the effort to learn from it. That's just because immediate arguement shut his ears... selective hearing.
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 12:38 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • IF HE IS SAYING WHAT HE THINKS U EXPECT TO HEAR TO MAKE UP AT THAT MOMENT. WHAT IS THE POINT, IF HE DOESNT CHANGE HIS APPROACH AND CONTINUES TO DO WHAT HE SAID HE WOULD NOT. I THINK U WILL PROBABLY NEE
    D COUNSELING IF U WANT TO C A DIFFERENCE.
    U BOTH NEED TO LEARN TO RELATE TO EACH IN A MORE EFFECTIVE WAY
    FIRST POST HAS A GOOD POINT. GL
    emily1234

    Answer by emily1234 at 12:54 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • My husband will do this... be mean and then try to say i'm sorry and act like everything is okay....

    best thing i can tell you is if you too start fighting... don't yell at each other, try to talk it out like adults... easier said then done i know... but i learned a trick... if my husband and i get into it and we start raising our voices, i will tell him " i will talk to you when you can talk like a normal person and not yell" then i just walk away....

    you guys are married and should be able to discuss problems between you... hope everything works out
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 1:56 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • an apology without actions is worthless. Actions are stronger then words. He needs to back up his apolgy. . of course that doesn't mean he won't mess up again down the road he's human. . . it sounds like he's not even trying to change.
    ColtsFan1912

    Answer by ColtsFan1912 at 2:06 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN