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I AM NOT HAPPY IS IT ME OR AM I JUST COMPLAINING TOO MUCH

MY HUBBY AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 3 YEARS AND HE HAS BEEN APART OF OUR LOCAL FIRE DEPT SINCE BEFORE I STARTED SEEING HIM BUT LATELY I HAVE NOTICED THAT THE DEPT IS ALL HE SEEMS TO CARE ABOUT I HAVE MENTIONED GETTING COUNCILING BUT HE THINKS IT WOULD BE TOO IMBARASSING FOR HIM, WE NEVER TALK ANYMORE UNLESS WE ARE FIGHTING AND I NEVER REALLY GET TO SEE HIM AT ALL, I GUESS WHAT I AM ASKING IS DID I EXPECT TOO MUCH FOR HIM TO WANT TO BE WITH ME MORE SO THAN THE DEPT OR SHOULD I DEAL WITH IT AND SUCK IT UP CAUSE IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN APART OF HIS LIFE. HOW DO I DEAL WITH THIS, I AM TIRED OF BEING ALONE ALL THE TIME, AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NOONE TO TALK TO ANYMORE, I AM ALMOST READY TO LEAVE, HELP PLEASE..

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NOWLIN8408

Asked by NOWLIN8408 at 11:57 PM on Feb. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (63 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I'm a police officer's wife so I know how frustrating the long hours can be. It honestly has to work both ways. Communication and compromising is the key and it doesn't seem like he's doing his part. If you think counseling will help, ask him that if he values your marriage and family, he needs to do this for YOU and YOUR family. Not his firefighter family. He certainly wouldn't be the first man to go thru counseling or marriage troubles, nor will he be the last. He needs to learn to put aside days for you and your family to stay connected with everyone. But understand and let him know that you feel that you both should have your hobbies or passions as well ("me" time). KWIM? Maybe his "me" time is spending it at the dept with his buddies. Find something that you like to do and make sure he supports you as well. He has to be willing to make this work and I hope he realizes that. =) GL, sweetie!
    my2luvbugs

    Answer by my2luvbugs at 12:14 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Try watching the movie Fireproof...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • fireproof isn't such an great movie to watch.. if you aren't religious. I know. my daughter's father is a fireman.. Please OP.. pm me and I will talk to you about what I went through with my daugthers father and his obsession with the fire dept.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 1:39 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • lol my friend just brought that movie over to me and told me to watch it....

    OP, my husband is in the army and lately with the training he is going thru, he is putting in 18 hr. shifts and somtimes all night... so i am right there with u only the lonely part, then when he comes home or actually has off he just wants to sleep or play video games and drink a beer... cant say i blame him tho....

    i think cousling would be a good idea...nothing to be embarrassed about.. me and my hubs think we may try it, just to learn to communicate about our differences without fighting... it could really do some good...

    i wouldnt say he has an "obsession" with his job... that is a tough job and he probably loves it...

    try going up to him sometime and tell him how u feel and how u love him and how u wish he could make time for you...when you start to argue "just say, we will talk when we can do so without yelling"...
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 2:01 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • CONT.

    you guys are married and should be able to work thru something like that as adults with our fighting.... hope it gets better
    JuLiAnSmOmMy317

    Answer by JuLiAnSmOmMy317 at 2:02 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

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