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4 Bumps

Am I selfish for not wanting to watch other peoples kids ?

I am currently a stay at home mom ( until next year, my youngest will start school and I will be going back to school )... I spend my day cleaning my house and doing stuff with my son ( we also have 5 pets) ... Even though it might not sound like alot, it actually does take up my whole day until it is time to picks my other kids up from school ( and then by the time we come home, do homework, cook supper, clean up, do baths, etc.. there is like no time for anything else )

I am the only person in my family who does not have a job ( including my aunts, cousins, etc) .. So everyone automatically assumes i will watch their kids when they cant. But the thing is ... I HATE watching other peoples kids... I dont like it at all, I dont know why , but it bugs me so much, that as soon as they call to ask ( IF they do actually ask before showing up) it ruins my whole day.

My mom is the biggest person who does this...She will volunteer me to watch my neice or cousins kids without even asking me first, she will tell them just to bring them over to me.......... and then if I get mad and say no, she ( and them ) get mad, and even try to make me feel bad , saying that since I can just sit at home all day, I should watch their kids.... I think that is ridiculous !

I mean if it was an emergency or the parents are ina bind, then yes, I will watch the kids, thats fine..... but this is like a 4-time-a-week thing and it is driving me crazy !

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Apr. 23, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • No, it's not selfish. I don't know why it seems like people think that a stay at home mom should care for everyone else's children. Your children are your responsibility, and the other children are their parents' responsibility. Dumping them on you is taking advantage.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 12:28 PM on Apr. 23, 2013

  • No, it isn't selfish. Tell them NO and stick with it, they will stop coming over if you are firm on NO. And by the way, that is very rude of your family to just bring kids over without asking, and I would tell them that.

    Answer by sunshineemommy at 12:29 PM on Apr. 23, 2013

  • Not selfish at all.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 12:34 PM on Apr. 23, 2013

  • Have a sit down with your mother and simply tell her no more.

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:35 PM on Apr. 23, 2013

  • Practice saying, "I'm sorry, but no." You don't need to explain yourself. You don't need to give an excuse. You just need to say "no" and mean it.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 12:35 PM on Apr. 23, 2013

  • If it's selfish then that makes two of us!

    How DARE they assume that you have nothing better to do than supply them with free daycare? That would make my blood boil!

    Heres a suggestion. MAke a list of places you could go with your son. Every time someone turns up with kids or calls, just tell them "Sorry I'm on my way out to ....." and hang up or get your coat and walk out the door with your son. The destination can be totally fictitious (doctor, dentist, etc.) but they don't need to know that. It might be a hassle to do but an hour at the park/swimming pool/library/shops/etc. with your son is definitely less of a pain than having other people's kids under your feet.

    Tell your mother to quit volunteering you because next time you're sending the kids right back to HER. Remind her that her future relationship with her grandson dêpends largely on her relationship with YOU so time to stop getting up your nose.

    Answer by winterglow at 12:38 PM on Apr. 23, 2013

  • Not selfish at all. I work from home and homeschool my kids, and to some people, that seems to translate to "I can wait for your cable guy, watch for UPS for you, take your dog to the vet, and/or just generally do whatever you can't/won't be home to do." I get people that get pissed off at me, but I just tell them no. I don't mind helping out if you're truly in a bind, but I do actually have things to do and can't take time from my stuff to deal with yours. Period. The ones that really don't like it don't bother me anymore. The others eventually figure out that they had better truly be in a bind or I won't help them.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 12:40 PM on Apr. 23, 2013

  • Stand your ground and say NO. I can't stand other people's kids either.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 12:45 PM on Apr. 23, 2013

  • I dont think is selfish at all they need to stop expecting you to take care of their kids. Be strong and just say NO.

    Answer by Alisim at 12:46 PM on Apr. 23, 2013

  • nothing is more annoying to me than parents who don't want to watch their own kids. If you have one- it is YOURS to freaking deal with not mine.
    That's how I saw it when mine were young/ little and I almost never asked anyone else to take them. If I went shopping, or to the doctor or anything, I took them with me. They were mine to deal with.

    I have seen more than a few moms who seem to think that it's totally fine to have someone else take their kids for whatever reason and it bugs me!

    *like you, I would not have a problem if there was a real need for someone to watch them -but to just assume I will take them for no good reason? NO

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 12:51 PM on Apr. 23, 2013

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