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2 Bumps

What is the best way to handle a uncooperative co-parent?

Almost a year ago I left a emotional abusive relationship. Leaving enraged my ex and he has been doing things to try to hurt me or make life more difficult. Many of the things he does involves our children. One thing he does is calls our 13 y.o. after his bedtime. Many times my son is already asleep. I spoke to my ex after I got calls from school saying my son was falling asleep in class. Of course my ex refuses to respect anything I do with our kids. I honestly don't know how to go about rectifying this situation.

I recently had to file an order of protection against him because he was harassing me via text. All I want is peace in my home and peace of mind.

Answer Question
 
EnigmaticFree

Asked by EnigmaticFree at 10:45 PM on Apr. 23, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • If he calls after your son's bedtime, who answers the phone? Dont allow phone use after bedtime. Document this and anything else the father is doing and keep it for future reference, maybe even to consult your attorney. You're the mom, exercise more control over the child's phone. Is there a custody order or parenting plan in place?
    HHx5

    Answer by HHx5 at 10:51 PM on Apr. 23, 2013

  • Through the courts.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:53 PM on Apr. 23, 2013

  • Could you go through mediation?
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:27 AM on Apr. 24, 2013

  • Continue to file protective orders, but if you can't get any more, then try to negotiate that he shows proof of attending counseling and anger management in order to have any communications with the kids at all. That is fair. If you get this negotiated through mediation (usually a former judge presides), then it's legally documented in case he tries anything. I also recommended anger management because they can teach things in those classes that some private counselors can't, and they also have more leeway with how the program gets customized. They are also given homework unlike most regular counseling. In my experience, social worker therapists (LCSW title) have the best training for re-training offenders.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 1:27 AM on Apr. 24, 2013

  • If he calls on a landline, unplug it at the wall when your son goes to bed. If it's
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 4:49 AM on Apr. 24, 2013

  • Thwart his efforts to stir things. If he calls on a landline, unplug it at the wall when your son goes to bed. If it's on your son's cell, turn it off and take it away when he goes to bed. If it's on your cell, set it to vibrate and simply don't answer...

    Keep a copy of all his harassing texts. Maybe talk to your lawyer about having all communication from him to you go through your lawyer so you can effectively block him on all lines?
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 4:52 AM on Apr. 24, 2013

  • If you have a protective order already I would be getting my butt in court NOW and documenting everything he does. We have a rule at our house that once the kids are in bed our landline is unplugged, but our reason is because we are landlords and that is how tenants get a hold of us unless it is an emergency then they are to call the cell.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 AM on Apr. 24, 2013

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