Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Why is my step son a totally different kid at his moms house?

My step son hit and kicks his mom while he is there but when he is at my house hes a complete angel...what is going on?? hes almost 7

Answer Question

Asked by jamiehamby82 at 9:31 AM on Apr. 25, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 3 (18 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • It's about expectations mostly. Although I know my kids are way better at school/friends houses than they are at home - kids tend to act out in places that they know they are still loved no matter what.
    Probably a combination of the two.

    Answer by missanc at 10:48 AM on Apr. 25, 2013

  • 1) because his mom lets him get away with it
    2) how's the structure at your place vs hers. My guess is she is lacking in the structure/discipline department. Kids act out when they done have boundaries
    3) Could he be angry at his mom for "leaving him". What age did dh and bio-mom separate?
    4) I also agree with missanc - kids act out when expectations are low and they know they are loved no matter what - hitting/kicking or not.

    Answer by daylily888 at 11:42 AM on Apr. 25, 2013

  • There is a lot that goes into why people are the way they are.

    Without knowing more about the lifestyles at each house I can only throw out ideas.

    Kids are born into their family that is their micro system, when parents split up the child now has two micro systems. He is 7 so school would be a 3rd micro system for him. Every micro system has expectations, and in each system children seek validation. They conform to the norms of that micro system to survive in that system. How that micro system treats them will play a huge role in how the child behaves in that system, whether they act out or not etc.


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Apr. 25, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.