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so its 3am my husband and i just found out that his closest uncle commited suicide. My husband wants to go up to buffalo where the family is and be supportive. We heres the problem. i start a new job tomorrow and we have training all week and our grand opening is Saturday. and i neeeeed the training...
another prob. he said he wants to take my 5 month old daughter with him . even if i cant go. im sitting here crying. i told him that there is no way he will take my daughter 500 miles away when im no where stomach dropped when he said that ... i feel so sick that he even thought of that. HE has traveled for a couple days and i was with my DD at home. but for ME to be away????
What should i do??? im going crazy.. and another thing is he would be gone for AT LEAST 2-3 days

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:08 AM on Feb. 17, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (20)
  • it will be hard to be away from her, but at some time it will be good for you to be away from her.
    I say, let him take her. and you can do your training, and know that she will be well taken care of.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • i just dont know if i will be able to handle it. with her in the car that long and no one able to help him out. im scared tthat something might happen and i wont be there. =( i have never been away from her for more than 5 hrs. and training week is gonna be 8

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Let him go and let him take her. I am sure family (especially the women family members) will help him to no end. I say this because if he cares enough to go that far for his family, he must have a close family and to want to take his baby with him (as long as he is a responsible dad) then let him. I am so sorry about the suicide though. Only you know your hubby well enough and maybe you can concentrate more on your training for these 2-3 days. Good luck.

    Answer by Gigi1969 at 3:23 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • oh and she will most likely sleep the WHOLE way!

    Answer by Gigi1969 at 3:26 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • I am sorry for your loss.

    Maybe you would feel better if you could help plan the trip - I do think that having a baby around at a time of grief is always wonderful. Could you call his family and make sure they know the baby is coming and so you could get a schedule of who will take her and when?

    As for them leaving you - maybe this will be a good thing and you can concentrate on yourself and your new job. The baby will be fine with her dad. Either he is a good father who can handle a few days with her or he is not - only you know. If he is, give them a big kiss and enjoy a few days to yourself. If he's not, then let him go by himself.

    Answer by Wimsey at 3:31 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • my husband is a great father. im just sooooo attached to her. and when we moved down here i had his sister ride withme bc i had no help. she was there to help me with my dd in the car. it was a 10 hr drive. and he gets stressed out when she cries constantly and doesnt know what to do. im just sitting here crying.... only bc he wants to take her. it just breaks my heart.
    oh and im the one that keeps posting things about my mother in law being a nosey bia. and wants to tell us how to raise my dd.
    i want to go in all but i dont want to miss my chance of this.job. i know it will be a good thing for a break but i just cant handle knowing my MIL will constantly be around being the way she is. and the fact taht its so far away for him to drive with her crying alot.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • How can a 500 mile ride last 10 hours? are you taking the street route?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:54 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • going thru the mountains and a baby in the back.. having to stop every 2 hrs

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • I feel your pain, I really do. But she's his as well, and he really needs her right now. To have that new, vibrant life to hold onto while he is there will not only be a blessing for him, but for his family as well. Do your first week, and stay busy! Hit the gym, gut the closets, do all the stuff you've been wanting to do but haven't had the time. Drop into bed exhausted. I promise you, it will be over two weeks from now, and she'll be back in your arms, and your husband will feel that you really understood how much pain he was in.

    Answer by madabben at 5:08 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • I personally don't think it's a good idea to bring a 5 month old baby on a long trip alone, especially when it's a specifically stressful trip. He needs to focus on his grief, and having the baby there won't help him to do that. Especially if you say he gets stressed out with the baby's crying. He'll already be on the edge of his stress level. I say you find a babysitter that you can trust to watch your little one while you're getting training, if pay is a problem find someone you know and trust that will allow you to pay when you get paid.

    In the end, I'd like to say that I've been there, with family suicide... and I really wish you guys come to terms with this very difficult situation.

    Answer by catwalksymphony at 5:10 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

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