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Help!!!! Need help with two kids that are able to help around the house

I have a teenager and one that is 8 years old. They won't help me around the house. They would rather play exspecialy the teenager she acts like a 6 year old and that. I ask them to pick up there mess and they act like I've asked them to pick up the whole house. When I ask my oldest to do the dishes she crys. What are some ways that i can get them to help and do there chires. I've tried prizes, giving them points to earn things, help, plus i have a 4 year old son that likes to hit and throw things what can i do to get him to stop throwing?

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Asked by mom_in_need75 at 6:45 AM on Feb. 17, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (11)
  • discipline.

    take away privileges if they don't help.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:52 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Do not bribe your children to do chores, you need to take control and make them do it. Sit them down and give them specific chores that they have to do every day and if they don't do them then they don't get to do aything, no t.v., no computer, etc. As far as you 4yr old, make him stand in the corner or swat his butt.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 6:55 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • I agree with sammmiesmom2000.

    chores were not an option when I was growing up. You did them or you didn't get to do fun things.


    Answer by flutterfae at 6:56 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • instead of offering rewards do the exact opposite ground the teen take things from the eight year old and yea im sure you have lots of corners for the four year old to stand in . good luck

    Answer by jodi205 at 7:16 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Why offer rewards for what they should be doing as part of a family anyway? Besides, rewards obviously aren't working.

    Try discipline. The teenager is not too old to be stood in the corner, or even grounded...from everything. Give them set chores that they are to do every day.

    If you TELL them to do something and they don't, nip it in the bud right then and there. Take charge! YOU'RE the mom! YOU'RE in charge.

    Time outs, groundings, loss of privileges, swats on the butt...none of your kids are too old or too young for any of that.

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 7:17 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • I have 3 teenagers, a 8 yr old and 4 yr old and have the same sort of issues. I make a chore chart and also a list of rules. My teens get paid to do their chores. If they dont do them, then they get money taken away and priviledges as well depending on the attitude and circumstances. I pay them various amounts depending on the chore and time it takes. I pay $2 for dishes, $2 for mopping, $1 for trash etc. I never give them more then $10 a week which is their allowance. In essence they are earning their allowance so its up to them if they get it or not.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:13 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • My kids are 8, 7, 6 and 2 1/2 and every single one of them has chores. The 2yo cleans her room all by herself, helps unload the dishwasher, cleans up after herself, etc. The older kids do a lot more including sweeping the house, taking the trash to the alley (if they can lift it), dusting, etc.
    There are no options. They either do their chores or they are grounded for the rest of the day (not allowed to leave their room unless they are using the bathroom or eating). They get no TV, no computer, no DS, etc. If my 2yo won't do it I tell her I'm throwing her stuff away and toss it into the recycling. She hurries to pick up after that. We don't allow hitting either. That gets you in the corner (even for the 2yo). If they still throw fits they get a spanking. They don't get allowance or anything. They do their chores because we all have to help each other.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 8:36 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Strip their rooms done to just a bed and dressers ( basic necessaties) . Tell them they are not getting any of it back til they can learn to help around the house, do what their told and when they are told to do it in a timely fashion.

    As for the hitter you can send him to his room without toys, put him in a corner for 5 mins at a time. whenever you decided to let them out have a discussion that hitting is not a behavior your going to accept (in 4 yr old language of course)

    Answer by MidnightKarma at 8:43 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • suppose to be *down not done

    Answer by MidnightKarma at 8:44 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • My kids are 14, 10, 7 and 2 and they are very unhelpful around the house. The one thing that I am beginning to hone into them that should have been done a long time ago is that they are each responsible for their own stuff. Its a good place to start. I make them responsible for their own rooms and their own laundry (getting to and from the LR) and its been difficult. My 10 yr old is the messiest kid ever and she hates work. I have incorporated a few chores into their day as well, but if I can get my kids to just take responsibility for themselves, then my job will be much easier. The older 2 are responsible for their own laundry now too. As a child, my mother did everything and then when I was about 10, she left. I saw her here and there but I never lived with her again full time. I hated the thought of ever putting my kids through that so I have overcompensated for them. Its time for me to stop feeling guilty.

    Answer by momofsaee at 10:19 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

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