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4 Bumps

My son is out of control....

I adopted my son when he was one years old and now he is three years old and he is out of control, using bad words (words that are not used in the house) fighting his sister, talking back.. Is spankings/whooppngs a good discipline?

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Asked by luv.My.JK at 11:50 PM on Apr. 27, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • I would not spank him, he only does what he hears and sees around him.

    Where does he spend his days to be able to learn bad words and not have any discipline?

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 1:59 PM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • I spanked for any occasion in which my kid was in DANGER, which was very rare. Part of your issue is that he is 3. There is a terrible 3's. Consult a few books. Even super nanny has good ideas but you have to stick to your punishment and never waver. Half the issue will be you guys and being consistent.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 1:26 PM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • Is spankings/whooppngs a good discipline? No, don't take the easy way out, find out what's going on.

    He wouldn't know the bad words unless he heard them from someone start with finding out where he is hearing these things. I would take him to a professional, don't underestimate how past abuse could be still effecting him today. Also if he was exposed to drugs or alcohol in the womb this could also be having long lasting effects on him.

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 12:25 PM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • No Spanking! Go to the Library & get the book "1 2 3 Magic", how to disciple without spanking.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 9:34 AM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • Sorry I meant to say instead of this........And you are not "bribing them" like many of the moms I know......I meant "And you are not "bribing them" like many of the moms think I do"

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 12:32 AM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • Maybe the structure/environment routine is just not right for him. Change things up, not all kids need the same thing. Try using the positive reinforcement and reward the GOOD behavior. And you are not "bribing them" like many of the moms I know. My dd is 4 and she got pretty bad there for a while! ANd try not tell him him "no" so much. God knows I was guilty of doing that to my daughter. And I think a mom here told me to "pick my battles". And when I started doing that, things got real easy after that.

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 12:27 AM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • agree with everyone else. HE is not going to be the same as your step child because 1: no two children are alike 2; he came from a home of abuse you don't know how horrible it was. 3: his mother may have been on alcohol or drugs while pregnant which could have affected his brain and lead to some issues especially with behavior.

    Why would you want to hit a child that has already been through abuse?? Do you not think it would terrify him?? Even at such a young age he could still have PTSD. and behavior problems stemming from the abuse itself.

    YOU need to get some help from either the agency(counseling parenting classes etc.) or as your son's doctor for some referrals. This is not his fault he is 3 and no 3 year old has complete control over their emotions and actions

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 12:13 AM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • He came out of an abusive situation. Corporal punishment is the last thing he needs. Again you might need to get some help in order to learn how best to help a child that came out of his situation.

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:12 AM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • It's really hard when kids don't behave the way we want and we get mad. Don't spank use the knotty step it may not work at first but persistence will prevail he is testing your patience and maybe it's time to keep him extremely occupied like climbing trees and walking through the forest and running around. Find the triggers and prevent them and don't forget to explain how upset his behaviour makes you but do that when he is happy and calm not when he is out of control. Good luck

    Answer by pinkparcel at 12:12 AM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • You have two separate children. Stop expecting him to act just like her. And if he was abused, why are you continuing that cycle?

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 12:04 AM on Apr. 28, 2013

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