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4 Bumps

My son is out of control....

I adopted my son when he was one years old and now he is three years old and he is out of control, using bad words (words that are not used in the house) fighting his sister, talking back.. Is spankings/whooppngs a good discipline?

Answer Question

Asked by luv.My.JK at 11:50 PM on Apr. 27, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • No

    Answer by staciandababy at 11:52 PM on Apr. 27, 2013

  • If he's not learning them in the house, where is he learning them? Before you start "whooping" him maybe you could try and change your parenting style? He's 3 years old.....

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 11:55 PM on Apr. 27, 2013

  • It is not a generally accepted form of discipline.
    He came to you when he was one. What was his homelife before he was with you?
    Did you get any counseling on how to best meet his needs? Is it available to you now through the adoption agency?
    Where is he learning the bad words?
    I would suggest some parenting classes on how to get control/ coping techniques. I would also talk to his doctor to see if there are other issues that might have to be adressed.

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:57 PM on Apr. 27, 2013

  • ^^ What they said.

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 12:00 AM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • He was abused that’s the reason the state took him and i adopted him, but I have a 5 year old step daughter that I have no problem out of..

    Comment by luv.My.JK (original poster) at 12:02 AM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • No. Spanking would especially not be recommended in his case by most professionals, if they even recommended spanking at all, because you don't know what your son's life was like before you took him in. If he was only a year old when you got him, cances are very good he hadn't learned any words yet. So where could he be getting them from? School? Neighbors? Babysitters? Could he have emotional or medical issues left from whatever his life was before you got him? Drugsor alcohol in his birth mother, emotional trauma, malnutrition, neglect or abuse, among other things?

    Answer by Ballad at 12:04 AM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • You have two separate children. Stop expecting him to act just like her. And if he was abused, why are you continuing that cycle?

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 12:04 AM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • It's really hard when kids don't behave the way we want and we get mad. Don't spank use the knotty step it may not work at first but persistence will prevail he is testing your patience and maybe it's time to keep him extremely occupied like climbing trees and walking through the forest and running around. Find the triggers and prevent them and don't forget to explain how upset his behaviour makes you but do that when he is happy and calm not when he is out of control. Good luck

    Answer by pinkparcel at 12:12 AM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • He came out of an abusive situation. Corporal punishment is the last thing he needs. Again you might need to get some help in order to learn how best to help a child that came out of his situation.

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:12 AM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • agree with everyone else. HE is not going to be the same as your step child because 1: no two children are alike 2; he came from a home of abuse you don't know how horrible it was. 3: his mother may have been on alcohol or drugs while pregnant which could have affected his brain and lead to some issues especially with behavior.

    Why would you want to hit a child that has already been through abuse?? Do you not think it would terrify him?? Even at such a young age he could still have PTSD. and behavior problems stemming from the abuse itself.

    YOU need to get some help from either the agency(counseling parenting classes etc.) or as your son's doctor for some referrals. This is not his fault he is 3 and no 3 year old has complete control over their emotions and actions

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 12:13 AM on Apr. 28, 2013

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