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2 Bumps

Why do men and women seem to have so much trouble communicating?

When my daughter and I got home from church today, her dad was at work. It was a beautiful day, so I called and asked him how long he'd be at the store. I told him I missed him, and I'd like it if we could spend some time as a family this afternoon since the weather was so nice. I was trying to be kind and loving, not confrontational at all, ,but right away he got defensive and said he works his butt off so he doesn't have to spend more time than necessary at the shop, and he has mountains of stuff to do, and sorry his best isn't good enough. So I told him all I meant to say was I missed him, sorry, and the five-year-old and I would be at the park. Well, we walked there, and just as we arrived Dad drove up in the car. We had a nice time sitting there while the little one played with some other kids.

Then I'd taken some hamburger out for dinner. Plans changed, so I put the hamburger in the fridge to use another day. Plans changed again, and my boyfriend decided to make chop suey. I reminded him to take the hamburger back out of the fridge so it could thaw out, and he said, "You don't have to tell me the ridiculously obvious; the merely obvious will suffice." But I only told him because taking the meat back out is something *I* probably would have forgotten to do.

Then he decided to go to the store, and he told me he was taking our daughter with him. She was out on the porch blowing bubbles, and I heard him ask her if she wanted to go, but I didn't hear her answer. So I called his cell phone to make sure she'd gne with him, just so I'd know. He said, "If she hadn't gone with me, I would have told you she was staying home. I can think things through, you know."

What gives? Why do we get in these ruts where everything I say, no matter how harmlessly or even nicely it's meant, is turned into something? Is it a gender thing?


Asked by Ballad at 6:28 PM on Apr. 28, 2013 in Relationships

Level 45 (193,996 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Men tend to hear things differently than we say or mean things. Like you saying you miss him, he could be hearing 'you aren't around enough', which is why he replies that he is working his butt off. Something might be bothering him if he isn't like this all the time, but the only way to find out is to ask and communicate that.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 8:54 PM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • Yep! All gender!

    Maybe he's feeling a little overwhelmed at work right now...

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 6:32 PM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • We get so caught up in how our feelings work we forget the men get bitchy too, really I think men have hormonal spikes once a month just like women. Sex usually calms the men down lol has it been awhile......

    Answer by pinkparcel at 6:36 PM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • You where close enough to the porch to here part of the conversation. But did not walk over their to see if the child was still on the porch, or at least yell to see if she was still their?

    My DH got home from fishing at about 6pm and wondered why I didn't cook dinner yet. I told him. I am not hungry and you were not home.   I think something is in the air. All the men are PMSing


    Answer by louise2 at 8:26 PM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • I actually can understand the being short with you when you called at work. I hate getting calls from my husband at work; he doesn't know how to get to a point and the calls never take less than ten minutes. I need those calls to have a real purpose beyond "I miss you" and to be to the point.

    And yes, a "pointless" call that throws me behind schedule (my job is all about a 5PM deadline) will make me pissy at him for the rest of the day. That may well be what's going on here.

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:21 PM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • It must be in the air, or the full moon we just had or something. Mine has been a bit grumpy lately too. I know part of my husb's problem is his job. Luckily we are taking a trip soon, so I know that will help him unwind. Some alone time does seem to help, but when they're being so crabby it makes it hard to get to that point! :p  GL- hope he gets in a better mood soon.


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:57 PM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • Men process things differently than we do. I think they have something strange in their brain that screws up everything we say to them.

    Answer by m-avi at 8:42 PM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • 24 years of marriage and I still ask my DH do I speak a different language then he does. Because most of the time I say something and he act like I spoke a different language.

    Answer by louise2 at 8:47 PM on Apr. 28, 2013

  • Men are from Mars and women are from Venus...Men are Hell if you ask a man that they blame it on us..



    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 1:31 AM on Apr. 29, 2013

  • Louise, I did yell, and my daughter didn't answer. That's why I called my boyfriend's cell phone to see if she was with him, or if I needed to go track her down outside.

    Comment by Ballad (original poster) at 9:22 PM on Apr. 28, 2013