Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Any ever been kind of indifferent about when to have another child?

We're thinking of having another baby mostly thinking about it because birth control sucks but DH graduates at about the time we'd have baby number 3 but that means we'd probably be moving around then. I only really worry because DD is only 5 months ,but it did take us a year to conceive both of our kids, but I don't know.
So I do have a lot of buts but nothing that really screams "OMG I can't have another baby right now!". You know? Neither one of us have a strong opinion about having another baby right now.
I mean my Depo wears off technically in the first part of July and our oldest turns 3 then so he's starting pre-school and our youngest isn't a demanding kid.

It just seems like something this serious should be more then just that it wouldn't be horrible if we had another and we did want more.

Has anybody else been just neutral or indifferent on having another kid? What and how did you decide?
Is having 2 kids about 18 months apart? Was it horrible?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:52 AM on Apr. 29, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • Ambivalent, you mean? Lukewarm? Not oblivious, which means ignorant of what's going on around you, not paying attention, something going over your head.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:56 AM on Apr. 29, 2013

  • Wait okay let me get this straight.......YOu have a 3 yr old and a 5 month old and yr about to start moving around and I am assuming income is probably not that great. I work in retail I know how expensive babies are.....And yr asking about having another baby....OMg how ignorant no you should not have another baby are you crazy!!! I have never understood people who want to have stair step babies. My two are 4 years apart exactly and I am so glad. Take time to enjoy the new baby and your 3 yr old who is at the most wonderful age.

    Answer by Fairymom32 at 1:10 AM on Apr. 29, 2013

  • The more I think about it, the more I'm thinking that unless you have a burning desire for another baby, don't make one. Not all babies get it, of course, but every baby deserves a family that wants it passionately, a family that couldn't imagine life without the new little one. No child should be halfheartedly created.

    Answer by Ballad at 2:22 AM on Apr. 29, 2013

  • I think if you don't really want one right now you should wait. I have two 18 months apart and two more 20 months apart. They are so close to each other, are in to the same things at the same time, play together so well. I love them being do close in age. The first two weren't planned to be that close, but if I had it to do over that would be my choice!

    Answer by missanc at 6:35 AM on Apr. 29, 2013

  • I don't hear the burning desire to have another one...ever. Be happy with the family you have and don't try to force another one. Besides, dislike for your current use of contraception is NO reason to just get pregnant!

    Answer by ggsmom333 at 2:59 PM on Apr. 29, 2013

  • Well...personally my first two were 2.3 yrs apart and my third will be 3 yrs after my 2nd. Each time I had a burning desire for babies made me go all melty and longing. If it were me I would wait until there is less transition in your life and you KNOW you want another. It is after all a rather lasting decision! 18 mos is a bit close FOR ME... I wouldn't do it. Mine that were 2.3 yrs apart was even hard on me bc the toddler wanted to be picked up and carried and a lot of the time I couldn't do it...The pressure on my hip, joints, and cervix was sometimes too much. I also got unbelievable exhausted and could only nap when DS did & he was young enough that he got jealous. I thought 'WHAT was I thinking??! How do people DO THIS??" But...everyone is diff and I know moms that haven't struggled as much with closely spaced children.

    Answer by 414Rose at 6:21 PM on Apr. 29, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.