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2 Bumps

Finding out horrible details about my own birth

My whole life my Mother liked to tell me the story of my birth. She did leave out one big detail until I had two c-sections for fetal distress. Surprise I left you in fetal distress for over an hour because "they just didn't do c-sections back then" and "you were just tired". She and her doctors did it with my older brother too who has several learning disabilities that had made his life very difficult and both my brother and myself have had seizures in childhood.

This is the woman who had to tell me how great it was that she had her babies naturally while her step sister had c-sections(they waited long enough to do her first that they almost killed her oldest). My Mom also has permanent injuries to her pelvis because of my birth and what the midwife tried instead of doing the vacuum or surgery and that's "just part of having kids".

Ok maybe I don't blame my Mother because they doctors make the call on who gets a cesarean but what the hell was wrong with doctors(in the case of my birth the midwife) in the 80's?
Maybe that's one reason that the cesarean rate has gone up so much is because doctors stopped taking stupid chances with babies and the ones around here stopped making women try to VBAC(long story but based on many women around here who had babies in the 80's and early 90's).

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:16 PM on Apr. 29, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (23)
  • Throw in that my husband was a shoulder dystocia that they just let "work his way out" meaning pushing until his collar bone snapped.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:23 PM on Apr. 29, 2013

  • Um, I had two babies in the 80's, both c-sections. In the northern half of the United States, at least, they have been doing c-sections long enough that my 40 something year old cousins were c-sections.... They used to do the horizontal cut back them though.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 7:25 PM on Apr. 29, 2013

  • What is your question?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:25 PM on Apr. 29, 2013

  • Yeah, I'm not following you either....
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 7:25 PM on Apr. 29, 2013

  • I am lost also!
    DJDNY

    Answer by DJDNY at 7:27 PM on Apr. 29, 2013

  • Sorry your brother was effected the most by this- but I can just say that modern medicine continues to make advances in many areas. At least you are healthy now & you know that if you decide to have children, you can go in well informed with a Dr. that has more training & knowledge then they did 30 + years ago.

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:29 PM on Apr. 29, 2013

  • Sorry it was mostly a vent, I live in a state that brags about always having the lowest cesarean rate in the USA of back then about 8% or less and they did it by risking women and babies which is infuriating. It just felt good to type it out.
    It's good to hear I'm alone in these abuses but I guess was kind of hoping I wasn't.

    So I guess my question was if I was alone or if anybody else had heard of these kind of things?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:36 PM on Apr. 29, 2013

  • My oldest DD was c-section in 78. I have a scare from my belly button down, because of it. My youngest was a VB in 84.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:43 PM on Apr. 29, 2013

  • Did she have a midwife, or a doctor? Has it been proven that your seizures, along with your brother's issues, are due to your birth?

    My point is that I'm not sure the story you've been given is entirely accurate. Further, I'm not sure what difference it makes at this point and I SERIOUSLY don't classify it as abuse. Babies who are in "real" distress don't last hours, typically.
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 7:46 PM on Apr. 29, 2013

  • I am sorry that you have this concern. It does seem sad that a baby would have been left in distress. It is possible that your mother's memory has exaggerated some details not on purpose but because they help her explain the difficulties that you and your brother experienced.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:00 PM on Apr. 29, 2013

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