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Do I work on it or go?

I have been with my husband since I was 18 (15yrs). We r best friends and have to young children. But I feel like we always argue and there are some things see very differently. I love him a lot but there is no more passion on my end. I just don't feel the same way I did. I feel that our lives have grown apart ( he works a lot and I run the house, take care of the kids and am a full time student). I feel as if we r great parents and gret friends but I have more spark for him. Because we have been together for so long our lives are entwined in every way.
So do I try to make it work although I feel so in need of passion and don't feel as if it is something that will just come back.
We are very good at talking to each other and I basically told him how I was feeling and he was great about listening. But where do we go from here. He says he loves me and is still passionate and attracted to me. It hurts me so bad that I can't reciprocate, he deserves that. He also says he can't imagine life without me.
Now that I talked to him, he is going out of his way to be extra loving, but that isn't the problem and I feel smothered.
I can't sleep and have no appetite. I don't want this to effect our children. HELP!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:37 PM on Apr. 29, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • If you don't want it to affect your children the answer is simple. Leave it be, be kind, polite, loving to him(you can be loving to someone with out being "in love" in front of the children. You do that until they are grown and out of the house. That way they get the stability of a loving family home. Your needs will have to come second to theirs.

    I don't see how there is anything to gain by you or him leaving...at least not for the children.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 9:03 PM on Apr. 29, 2013

  • Thank you for advice. But the only problem is I feel that we fight about the little things because we are not really happy. Intimacy is also a problem. I am not attracted to him sexually and feel like I pretend and he senses it. And he wants to be intimate a lot. Sometimes I feel like "oh no, the kids r in bed, he is going to want to have sex".
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:12 PM on Apr. 29, 2013

  • Maybe your need marriage counseling. It's not unusual to feel worn down and like you don't have much left for your partner, and them not stepping up in some way for you just compounds the issue. Remind each other why you fell in love with each other to begin with. Nurture your marriage like it is one of your children, devoting time and attention to it. If things still don't work out then you at least know you have made every effort to try to bring back some passion.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:49 PM on Apr. 29, 2013

  • You're looking for passion? Most couples explore that in the bedroom. How are things in that department?
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 10:32 PM on Apr. 29, 2013

  • PartyGalAnne, I am in desperate need of passion. He is passionate but I can't reciprocate. I don't know if us pulling apart over the years created this but I just am not attracted to him in a sexual way anymore. When we have sex it is good but I never want to. I have found myself attracted to someone else before. But need acted on that. So I know I still have passion. I just feel like he became my best friend and the lover part is lost.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:49 PM on Apr. 29, 2013

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