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11 month old boy throws a bad tantrum

How do I get my almost 12 month old to stop throwing fits? He throws a fit when he has something that he's not suppose to have he screams over it when I take away, he doesn't want his diaper to be changed when he has been playing . He will move his butt up and down hard.. He throws these all the time.. It's very frustrating. I will make him sit down and not move and I walk away from him, you would think it would work nope. He will stop eventually after like 20 minutes... Answers are appreciated thanks amber

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mommaof1777

Asked by mommaof1777 at 11:41 PM on Apr. 29, 2013 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Think he's bad now? Wait till he turns five!

    Seriously, is there a place you could put him, like a play yard or something, and just walk away till he calms down? As long as he's safe, ignoring the tantrum and letting him wear himself out, and definitely not giving in, is your best bet.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:00 AM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • I agree with Ballad 100%
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 12:27 AM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • I agree with what has been said, but above all else stay calm when saying what he is doing is not OK. And cuddle him a lot after any consequence you do. Plus you might have some little things that he can look at set aside for when you change his diaper. He can only look at them when you do a diaper change. That helps a lot to distract babies. Let him look at it for a few minutes afterwards too, but then put it away for next time. I also found that singing during a diaper change was so interesting to my kids, and the ones I care for, that it distracted them enough to get the change done. Plus make sure you include him in anything that you are doing and make him your big helper with plenty of praise. Like folding clothes, putting clothes in the dryer, recycling, anything and everything. That goes a lomg way in making a child cooperative at other times. GL
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 8:34 AM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • Validate how it makes sense to be upset when someone takes away something fun/interesting. This is the situation: you realize he is upset/wants to keep the scissors (i.e., you understand him) & yet you STILL don't respond or help!! (you don't give the scissors back)
    When he throws a fit, he is expressing his feelings about that precise situation.
    He is experiencing a range of emotions, from surprise (when you show up to interfere with his fun by taking whatever he has), confusion & hurt, anger, fury (when you don't respond "appropriately" to his reaction of upset), grief & loss (over losing something he wanted & at finding you "against" him), powerlessness & helplessness (when he can't make things go his way.) When you respond to all of that with disapproval & negativity, sending a clear message that he's wrong in some way, it adds even more feelings of frustration & alienation.
    Just acknowledge what happened & how he's upset.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:21 AM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • When he doesn't want his diaper changed, it's the same thing. Acknowledge that he doesn't like it, he didn't want to stop playing, and he doesn't want you to change his diaper.
    You can hold the limit (that you're going to change his soiled diaper) while still making space for his feelings (showing understanding & acceptance for them, rather than responding with irritation or disapproval.)
    This won't make the feelings stop or go away. But it responds in a way that shows acceptance, which helps him get through them. This way, you're not adding TO the feelings by resisting/rejecting them.
    All of it makes sense. It's not "against" you; it is "for" him.
    We have human beings on our hands! Their feelings in response to what happens to them aren't going to go away. Children learn emotional REGULATION when parents make space for their emotions. They resort to emotional REPRESSION when parents reject & disapprove of "negative" emotions.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:38 AM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • Thank you ladies all of you. While I'm changing his soiled or poopy diapers I give him something to play with while I change him that keeps his attention long enough to change it. For Ballard, I have a play pen to put him, but the thing is he has asthma and if he screams too much it triggers his asthma and then have to do breathing treatments for it to calm down..
    mommaof1777

    Comment by mommaof1777 (original poster) at 10:39 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

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