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What can I do? My son comes home to me from his father's sick, worse and worse every time.

The doctor finally took notice and didnt question my mental health when my son went to him yesterday. We just got him cleared from Bronchitis! Now he has bronchitis AGAIN, ear and nasal infection. My son is a premie, diabetic baby, and asthmatic 3 year old. He goes into his fathers care every other weekend and every other week, unless hes on antibiotics, Im taking time off work to get my son better. Im losing out on money for my child because of his fathers and grandmothers neglect. Grandmother smokes in the car with my asthmatic baby, has dirt air ducting in her house and irregularly washes her hands. His fathers air ducting is 10x worse, their is mold in 2 carpeted rooms of the house, and broken pipes in the walls. They say its 'allergies' but when my son has green snot and a barking cough its an infection. Until I moved I didnt notice that much now its a problem! do i call a lawyer, have him striped of his rights? Im lost..

Answer Question
Roseanna S.

Asked by Roseanna S. at 12:17 PM on Apr. 30, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I'm not really sure how that would be handled. You left out a lot of details about how the father loves the baby, etc.... I mean if he's a loving father, but cannot afford any other type of housing, maybe you can set something up to where he sees the baby outside the home? You'd really have to talk to the lawyer about the details. The only thing I'd ask is not to try to take away the visitation rights from a father who truly loves his child just because he's poor and cannot afford to live anywhere else.

    But, again, you left out a lot of important details.

    Answer by m-avi at 12:21 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • I agree with M-avi. I think you guys need to also go into mediation to see if you can work out a solution.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 12:24 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • I agree with m-avi too.

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 12:25 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • Maybe call Child Protective Services & tell them the living conditions that your Son is forced to live in when he is with his Father & see if they can take a look and/or refer you where to get help.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:25 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • I'm not sure you can get rid of his rights, I think usually you have to be able to prove he's deliberately trying to hurt him, and I'm not sure you could do that here. The air ducts - many (in fact, maybe even most) people don't think to clean those, even with asthmatic kids, so I'm not sure that one will help you much. However, the smoking, moldy carpet and broken pipes ARE all things that can help you.

    If I were in your position, I would get documentation from the doctor showing that each illness is coming immediately on the heels of a visit with Dad. I would get a note from the doctor stating that he believes these illnesses are coming from those visits, and try to get hard evidence of the things you've mentioned, if you don't already have it.


    Answer by wendythewriter at 12:26 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • I would call CPS

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:29 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • Then I'd take that to court and ask the judge to order that he resolve these problems - how they're resolved is up for grabs (depending on whether he rents or owns, as well as whether he can fix broken pipes and carpeting himself), but they need to be resolved. Then I would ask that it also be stipulated that if these things aren't resolved, that his visits no longer take place in his home. It may come down to him coming to your home for supervised visits or something.

    I would not rush straight to trying to terminate his rights or his visitation, however. Your kid has a father that sees him regularly, and sick or not, that counts for a lot. Don't destroy that unless it's absolutely necessary.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 12:29 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • I would contact a lawyer to see if the father can either get a better living situation or not see his child until he does.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 12:46 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • Call CPS and have them do a home study.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:42 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • Best to talk to a lawyer and see if anything can be doen legaly.

    Answer by louise2 at 3:21 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

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