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2 Bumps

Thoughts on this??

I catch my boyfriend 'looking' a lot at other girls. He doesn't look long enough to consider it staring, and he doesn't turn his head or anything. But when you look, you look and then look away quickly. But with him, e will look at another girl, and hold it for a few seconds. Kind of like observing them or something? He says its an issue with him, and his family does it a lot too. They just stare at people, period.

I'm not buying it. I still think he kind of observes women. When I asked him about it. He tells me he's not comparing me to them, he just looks and thinks "my girl is beautiful". He says he doesn't think anything perverted, and he doesn't want them or anything. He just likes to look at people! Period!

I feel like this can be a huge issue in our problem. I'm very insecure as it is. I don't appreciate him observing other women. He even does it when he's watching tv. Maybe I'm over thinking this, because again. I am insecure... He does enjoy physical appearance. I'm sure he likes personality too. But he still very much enjoys nice bodies/women. Hes even told me there was nothing really good about his ex, but that her body was really nice, and she was sweet. seriously? I just figured, at 31 years old, you would have been passed that phase!


Asked by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Apr. 30, 2013 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Once a gawker, always a gawker.

    Answer by tasches at 7:47 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • He's not dead.... are you willing to poke his eyes out?
    He's with YOU. Isn't that good enough?

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 5:22 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • You can't live your life without looking at people. If he looks at women and drools or has his tongue hanging out, I'd probably have to get rid of him..... but other than that, it's just observation.


    Answer by m-avi at 4:42 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • Honestly, if you know you're insecure and looking is all he does, it's probably not worth making a big deal over. He may look and appreciate the beauty of other women, but you're the one he kisses good night and good morning.

    Answer by Ballad at 5:24 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • I told my husband when he felt guilty , when I noticed him looking at a couple of girls, "You are married, not dead".

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:40 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • Work on your self esteem.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 6:06 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • That is all you have to worry about? Him stealing quick looks at females. You are talking about grown women, right? You said GIRLS?

    If he is not gawking. Don't worry about it.   Go buy some blinders and make him wear them.


    Answer by louise2 at 5:26 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • I sort of get what he's saying about he's just observing. I catch myself in restaurants, at the mall, walking in the park, etc and looking at people. I start to wonder what their story is, or how long it's taken them to get to where they appear to be (homeless, or really athletic, or dressed to the nines, etc) and I have to make myself stop before someone slaps me upside the head for staring at them!!

    Im not thinking anything weird... Maybe your boyfriend is just an observer. And if he's thinking they are cute, or fit, or whatever, well he's still with you. Throwing a fit about him doing something as benign as looking at people as they pass is a sure way to drive him away. Neediness like that is very unappealing.

    Answer by Nimue930 at 6:34 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • He sounds creepy. I'm sure the other women he gawks at think so too

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:22 PM on Apr. 30, 2013