Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

Tell me its not that bad and it'll get better..

I'm so depressed right now and can get a little suicidal at times. I wont ever follow through because i love my dd so much and i do love myself.. but not happy with where my life is right now

im a single mom
i only make about 34k a year
i live paycheck to paycheck
the 1st is tomorrow and wont have rent until the 17, and even then i will have to overdraw my account to pay
my car is in repossession and they will pick it up soon
i live in the suburbs and cant afford to lose my car
i work about 25miles away from home
ive been searching for another job that is closer and pays more for 3 yrs and still nothing
i have very little food in my house
dd is in kindergarten and ive paid 4k so far and behind 700 and they are about to kick her out

i cant win...
i have a bs degree and would like to go for my masters but it would feel like a waste since i cant even get a basic job.
i want to go get my lpn dipolma , here they pay bout $24/hr but its impossible to go to school with all these responsibilites and bills

my parents suggested i open my own small business in bookkeping, taxes and insurance but i owe the irs and cant get the ptin i need to do taxes.

im srry im venting. i have no other ways to let this all out.

please tell me it gets better. :(

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:02 PM on Apr. 30, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (55)
  • I'm not sugar coating anything.... All I can tell you is that ONLY YOU can make it better. Nothing is holding you back. Go do it!!!!!

    Answer by m-avi at 7:06 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • It's called living within your means.
    Private school?
    Car payments?
    No mention of child support?
    You're obviously on the internet or a smartphone.
    People get by with a HELL of a lot less than $34K a year. You need to make cuts.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 7:08 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • I'm sorry, I wish I had advice for you, all I can suggest is that you seek help for food and other necessities. Maybe you need to move closer to your job.

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 7:10 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • You need to evaluate your finances and budget better. It won't get any better just by making more money. You need to Stop living beyond your means if you want anything to change. For example take her out of private Kindergarten and put her in public school when you obviously cannot afford it. Eat more home cooked meals, decrease cable etc. In other words track our spending and cut out as much excess as possible. There are women who feed their families of 4 or more kids on less than what you make a year because they track their spending and don't live beyond their means.

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 7:10 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • It's called living within your means.
    Private school? kindergarten in my town is 5k in public schools

    Car payments? i got the car when i was ok financially, but now.. if i surrender it , it will ruin my credit

    No mention of child support? he is 'disabled' and unable to work

    You're obviously on the internet or a smartphone.( had a computer for years, free wifi in my building

    People get by with a HELL of a lot less than $34K a year. You need to make cuts.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:13 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • Write down a detailed list of what you spend money on. Put down every single cent for 3-4 weeks. Then make what cuts you can and stick to it.  You might be surprised what savings you will find. 


    Answer by silverthreads at 7:15 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • So your response to people telling you HOW to make it better by budgeting, is to ignore them and make excuses for why you can't change.....Yeah It won't get better because you're not willing to put in any effort to change it. Good luck with that. Stop bitching and lie in the bed you made.

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 7:18 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • How is the housing market in your area? What's the chances you could sell it and get something more within your budget? That might give you the money to get another house and have money left over to get another vehicle. School is almost over for the year so if they kick her out of Kindergarten it's not going to hurt much this late in the school year. I'm with the others, determine what you can cut back on and make adjustments and yes it can get better. Remember that Less is More!

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:20 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • If your ex is "disabled" then he should be getting disability payments from social security, which they will garnish for child support (my ex has it taken out of his). And in addition, your child would then get dependent benefits. If he isn't getting social security then he isn't really disabled and child support enforcement will go after him.
    Maybe you need to get a roommate? Sell the car and buy something you can afford. Stop paying for private school. Where do you live that you and one child can't live on 34k/year? My 3 kids and I made it on much less while I was going back to school.

    Answer by missanc at 7:22 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • I don't want to sound like a bitch, but here's the thing. I'm a single mom with 2 kids, and I got by on only around $20K a year. It was tough, but I could do it. I look at your $34K and think I would have had money in savings with that. You do need to make cuts. Maybe the suggested cuts aren't the ones you need, or won't work for you, but you need to make cuts somewhere. If you can't make cuts, get a second job.

    It will get better, but it's up to you to make that happen.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:25 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.