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Which is the greater evil in a courtroom?

the father purposely showing up for visitations 2-3 hours late just to be an asshole and stick it to the mother (and she has documented proof)

or the mother, who was home at the agreed upon time, but took the kids and left when the agreed upon time passed and refused to make herself available after that time?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on Apr. 30, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Depends on the judge
    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 8:52 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • Like Kristi said it depends on the judge. It shouldn't be a problem for the mom to refuse visitation after a certain time past the agreed upon time, but it doesn't always work that way.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 9:01 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • It depends on the judge and probably upon the area of the country you live in
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 10:41 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • Sounds like either way the judge is going to get pissed over this petty juvenile behavior. If the visitation is court ordered he can hold them both in contempt and impose a fine or jail or both. Some people need to grow up. The courts don't play these games.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:43 PM on Apr. 30, 2013

  • I think it depends on the judge...Good luck.
    princesskt

    Answer by princesskt at 12:51 AM on May. 1, 2013

  • Agree^^^^ And I really agree with admckenzie....Best of luck to the parents. But if I had to pick to lesser evil, it would be the mom. But I got to wonder, what proof could the mom get on something like that??
    Michigan-Mom74

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 1:07 AM on May. 1, 2013

  • The jerk father is worse....BUT the mother hopefully has documentation that she gave notice that she would no longer be there due to his change in plans.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 3:24 AM on May. 1, 2013

  • she has text messages and emails with the time on them where he wrote "on the way" and it was hours passed the agreed upon time. so he didn't even give prior notice that he'd be late.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:46 AM on May. 1, 2013

  • My judge would be more pissed at him, but that's because in our particular situation, my ex is a serious ass who has proven to do everything he does just to be an ass. But as others have said, it depends on the judge - it also depends on your visitation agreement. I made sure that mine stated that if he did not show up within an hour past the end of his visitation time (supervised visits, 1 hour twice month), that I could leave and that if I did not have prior notice that he was running late and/or needed to reschedule, that I did not have to make the kids available to him again until his next scheduled visit. If she doesn't have something like that, I would recommend that she wait long enough that there is no room for doubt that he wasn't going to show (an hour, 2 even, not just 5 minutes past the scheduled time)...
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:17 AM on May. 1, 2013

  • and that before she leaves, she sends him a text or email, or calls him, and says something to the effect of "Your visit was scheduled for 10am. It is now noon and you have not arrived, nor have you called, texted or emailed me to give me a heads up. We have plans this afternoon, so at this point, I'm afraid we can no longer wait for you. Please make sure to be on time next time, or call me in advance to let me know if you will be late or can't make it."

    I would suggest she email it, so that she can print out the emails to prove not only how often he doesn't show, but that she has tried to be nice about it and that she isn't just ditching him. The emails will also show the time she sends it, so it has to be at that point where she gives up on the visit, not later that night, and not the second he doesn't show.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:21 AM on May. 1, 2013

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