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At what age do you think a teen should car date?

Would you make an exception for a 15 year old that got asked to prom? My daughter got asked to go this weekend by a boy we know well. He wasn't going to go at all, but changed his mind at the last minute.
This is not her boyfriend or anything, I say yes, husband says no. If we do allow her to go, what should we put as far as limitations? This dating thing is "new" to us!


Asked by Anonymous at 9:43 AM on May. 1, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • If it were a boy we knew really well, as in know his family, then I would consider driving them to the dance for maybe a couple of hours, then picking them up and taking them both home--him to his, and her to yours. If you don't hold some things in reserve for children to look forward to and to anticipate, you are inviting trouble. One of the biggest problems I see in our society today is that we are either rushing our children to adulthood or doing little or nothing to allow them to just enjoy being a child where somebody else has to make the life-changing decisions. There's way more adulthood than childhood in the best-case scenario, so what's the big hurry to get them there?

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:15 AM on May. 1, 2013

  • I say let her go to the prom. She'll be old enough to drive herself soon. I don't know her or the boy so as far as limitations I am not sure. Set curfew and make sure she knows about safe sex. You know avoiding pregnancy and stuff. Not saying that anything like that would happen, but better "safe" than sorry. She's growing up and daddy is going to have to deal with it. You can't keep them little forever. Have her call and check in so you know she arrived safely.

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 9:49 AM on May. 1, 2013

  • I say no. She is 15 so this means she is either a freshman or sophomore, she still has the Junior and Senior Prom, so it's not as if this is her one and only chance to get to go. But it depends on what type of kid she is and what type of kid the boy is. If you think she might get into trouble (bad grades, sex, drugs, alcohol etc) then I think you know the answer, but if she is a good student who has never been in trouble before well then that's your call. I just think if your husband says no, that should be it, you shouldn't go against him in front of her if he already said no because this could cause playing you between each other later on.
    I like OhWrites suggestion of you driving her/picking up if you're uncomfortable with her going with him.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 10:07 AM on May. 1, 2013

  • Are they planning to stay out all night? Then no
    I'd insist that she be home by 12

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:47 AM on May. 1, 2013

  • I would let her go. Give her a curfew she has to be home by. Midnight is a good one.

    Answer by kmath at 9:49 AM on May. 1, 2013

  • 16 was our car date age, Has she been in a relationship with the boy for awhile? I'm on the fence because it's the prom, but I lean toward letting her go.

    I'm guessing that in addition to driver safety, you are concerned about the privacy a car date allows. You could drop off and pick up and just say no car dates until 16, or make an exception for this special occasion with a strict curfew, make sure she knows you expect photos too!!

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:57 AM on May. 1, 2013

  • I couldn't say it any better Nanny!

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 10:28 AM on May. 1, 2013

  • Yes, I would make an exception. I was allowed to car date at 14 with a guy I had known most of my life, our dads were both deacons, and he and I were both leaders at our church youth group. I was a virgin until I was 19 and the only man I had ever had sex (until our divorce) with was my ex. So car dating didnt rush anything.
    As long as you trust your daughter and set reasonable limits on curfew and such, she will be fine.

    Answer by missanc at 11:53 AM on May. 1, 2013

  • I would let her go to prom, but I wouldn't make a habit of letting a fifteen-year-old go out on car dates.

    Answer by Ballad at 1:08 PM on May. 1, 2013