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How can I live like this ?

I'm a slow learner-if I even learn to do something at all. I'm not the smartest person at all. Figured that out when they modified my tests, and I was in a 'slow' math class on school. Then to top it off, I'm not a people person. Im very shy, and I get nervous easily. I don't like being around people, especially a lot of people.

I'm 21 years old, and I can't take living like this anymore. I started a new job today, and I already screwed up and a costumer complained about me to the manager. Nobody else screwed up, but me! It's like a lot of times when someone is explaining something to me, it's like it goes through one ear and out the other. I don't know. Hard to explain...

Basically. I'm a big dummy, and I think I have anxiety or something? I'm anti-social? I don't know how to explain this very well. But seriously. How in the hell can I live like this?!!!!!!!!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:27 PM on May. 1, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • Cut yourself a break. Everybody has a hard time learning a new job, and it's not out of the ordinary to make a mistake on your first day. The manager probably understood, and if not, you'll get the hang of the job soon enough. Stop telling yourself you're a dummy, you wouldn't let your kids call anybody else that so don't say it to yourself either.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:00 AM on May. 2, 2013

  • You learned how to click the anon button.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:01 AM on May. 2, 2013

  • ^Grow up. This is a serious matter.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:10 AM on May. 2, 2013

  • I'm also 21 and VERY shy. Cut yourself a break, a new job can be hard for anyone. I applaud u finding a job. I have been in school and havent worked in 3 years and now i'm terrified of getting turned down for a job. I wish you the best!
    dimples2k13

    Answer by dimples2k13 at 12:24 AM on May. 2, 2013

  • Well, you can spell, type & your message was coherent in structure. There have been some messages here that I haven't been able to decipher for certain, because I couldn't get a sense of what it probably was supposed to be saying!
    I think anxiety can interfere with "learning" or retaining information, such as new procedures. Probably everything (or almost everything) is new in the job; it's a matter of learning the whole workflow with their equipment & also learning specific procedures. If you already have feelings tied to self-worth about having difficulties, feeling challenged, or making mistakes, then normal experiences (like not remembering to do things in the right order, and getting in a jam/making a mistake) can feel excruciating. That's because to you (inside), it's not just something you did, it's who you are. Seeing that this is how you feel, and beginning to engage that as reality or not, can help.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 6:55 AM on May. 2, 2013

  • Find a job you can do. Are you good at house cleaning? Get a job in a Hotel. Find your skill and get a job in it.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:06 AM on May. 2, 2013

  • It was your first day - it's a rare person who doesn't make at least one mistake, even if it's minor, on their first day. I would guess the customer who complained either didn't know it was your first day or was just an asshole.

    Cut yourself some slack. Don't assume you're dumb just because you're not perfect. No one is perfect.

    Also, look up learning styles. It might be that you can't learn as easily through verbal instructions as another way. You might need to take notes, be walked through something step by step as you do it or watch someone else do it. If you can figure out what your learning style is and what you need to do to learn, that might go a long way toward helping you pick things up more easily.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 9:45 AM on May. 2, 2013

  • Along with what has been said try to stop negative talking to yourself. You are creating a self fulfilling prophecy. Tell yourself that you can do whatever the task is and you are trying your best. You might want to talk to a counselor who can help you work on your self esteem. And go to the libray and get some books on the subject. Google 'self esteem books' to get some ideas. I was a very shy young person and over the years have gotten more and more self assured, but it takes some work. GL hug
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 10:19 AM on May. 2, 2013

  • I used to feel that way. I'm 31 now. I agree that learning style needs to be looked into. You are being way too hard on yourself. You're on Cafemom, so you have a little one? Are you close to family? No matter a person's faults (we all have faults), each one of us is unique and special and capable.

    I used to be so scared of life. Then I got married to a jerk (and divorced him) and had to find my own way through life. My parents weren't much help and I wasn't close to any extended family. I used to tell myself when faced with a situation in life that if all these other people in the world could manage then so could I.

    If u really feel you have some issues that u can't overcome, don't be afraid to ask for help through a counselor or a church. I agree with the previous posters. Don't take difficult customers to heart. Everyone makes mistakes. And don't think you are dumb if u don't retain info the first time around. GL!
    HHx5

    Answer by HHx5 at 10:25 PM on May. 2, 2013

  • First of all yes it was yr first day and on first days or even second days you are gonna make mistakes. I work in retail and I know for a second that customers can be jerks. I agree with the others quit being hard on yr self. YOU are who you are and yr worth loving yr self but if you feel this way about yr self then see how others perceive you. Just try to be positive. Is their a group in yr area you can join to help you with this.?
    Fairymom32

    Answer by Fairymom32 at 7:46 PM on May. 7, 2013

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