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A stay at home wife amd Mom...

I have been at home now since my first son was born over 17 yrs ago and I do love it.Women ask me all the time how do you do it and What really bothers me is they act like I'm a weirdo or something..I almost feel all alone in this world or where my kids go to school.Every one of my kids friends mothers work and have college degrees.I feel so disrespected for my decision.Are their anymore homemakers out there who feel inferior to working moms, I guess thats the word for how I feel.I know I shouldn't let it bother me but it does..because they always ask and say You don't have a college ed.?Tired of it.Can I just be happy at home without that extra fancy car..worry about my kids having it all..like they do.all my kds friends are being bought brandnew cars at 16, mine has to work some for his..or I get told go to work and help get him a new one..I don't beleive in giving my kids everything they wan't..Any advice out there?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Feb. 17, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • I can completely relate to you. I especially felt as though I made the wrong decision when talking to old friends of mine who knew me in high school but we had lost touch. They said things like, "Why the heck aren't you a doctor or a lawyer? You were so smart in school, what a waste that you'll just be staying home." Those comments cut me so deeply! But I had to realize what is best for my husband and son, and right now, it's staying at home and taking care of things here. You're doing what's right for your family, mama, don't let anyone make you feel bad about it!
    Kingstons_Mom

    Answer by Kingstons_Mom at 10:54 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Well, I can tell you that I am a 27 year old new mother with a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science, graduated Summa Cum Laude and I aspire to be you. I would absolutely love to be able to stay home with my kids for as long as you have. I've been home with my 10 mo. old since she was born and money is tight but it is so worth it. I don't know how long we'll be able to live on one income (especially with the economy the way it is) but I'll be doing it for as long as I possibly can. When you're feeling down on yourself, keep in mind that some of those working mothers (probably more than you think) would much rather be in your shoes. The ones that look down on you are probably the ones that want it more than anything.
    ANGIE409

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 10:56 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • I think Angie has a good point, if they are looking down on you it's probably because they want to be you. So remember that and hold your head high. You are giving your kids everything they need by always being there for them, and putting them first. I dropped out of school when I got pregnant with my first. I had to go back to work for a bit during her first year, but as soon as I got pregnant with #2 I have been a SAHM, and proud of it. I miss school, but I've taken it upon myself to keep learning by reeading books and watching shows on my topic of study - history. Who says you have to have a degree to learn anything!!
    avpriddis

    Answer by avpriddis at 11:05 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • i have a degree and i stay at home... if you can do it why not? kids shouldn't have EVERYTHING handed to them, that is why the wold is the way it is, everyone is use to having everything handed to them. this will give your son a good look at what is right and what being a grownup is. people don't hand things out you have to work for them. i know my kids are way better off being at home with me than with a babysitter. i know what they eat, do and learn. i am raising my kids not someone else. they are just jealous that they can't do what you do. they will be jealous when their 30 year old kids are still living with them or still ask them for everything and your kids know how to get what they want themselves. good for you, no one needs everything, a happy loving family is much better than a paid for family.

    setliff

    Answer by setliff at 11:05 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Well I'm pretty much a stay at home mom, I have 3 kids my oldest is 16 and my other two are 13 and 7. I pretty much went to college on and off up until I had my now 7 year old, I did my student teaching while I was pregnant with him. I got my two year degree in early childhood and I am 1 class away from getting my bachelors degee in elementary educahtion. Last time I took a class it was almost 8 years ago. I think I have math anxiety because I keep putting off this class. I also do substitute teaching at the elementary schools a couple times a week. I loved being able to stay at home with my kids, I think it did make me a better mother because I wasn't all stressed out about working. I never wanted to be the type of mother who felt rushed all the time. Now my husband is starting pressuring me into getting a full time job. He never supported me staying at home anyways.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • I dont' believe that children should have everything given to them, it just sets them up for failure as adults. I stayed at home for 14 years. I had weekend jobs or a job at a school where my son went, I worked till I was 8 months preggers with my daughter, that was 10 years ago. Last year I decided to work, then I got a job at a school, working 15 hours a week, so I was still home when my children were home. I am now in school, only because if something were to happen to me and hubby, I need to be able to have a career to support me and the kids. BUT it's not a bachelors degree, it's just a certificate. I like being home when my kids are home, I like being a fulltime parent to them, I dont' ever want to have to give that up, and I dont' plan on it. I would ignore those that look down on you, if you and hub are doing fine on one income, then stay at it. Your kids will only be home a short time, enjoy it
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:14 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • So what you feel is right for your family, don't let others intimidate you. I love bing home with my kids when they get home from school and during the summer and their vacation times. I
    staceynoel

    Answer by staceynoel at 11:18 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • i have been a sahm since my dd was born 11 years ago. i also watch our 3 year old. and i love it. and though im tired its still great im always here for my kids not worrying if the babysiiter will be able to watch my kids. also i know the money i could make working will all go to daycare. whats the sence me maken money to help out when it goes to day care. all my dd's friends have big houses and brand new cars and im ok with that and my dd knows we cant just go out and get all new things. we have a 2006 van and i hate the payments. lol. so it dosent bother me when the other moms look down at me cause when theres a snow day guess who ends up calling me.. and its my chioce to say yes or no. i love being a sahm.
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 11:52 AM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Just a little insight on this.... My sister is a school teacher, has been for the past 15 yrs and she has said so many times that she can tell the "daycare" kids from the ones that have had a steady parent at home, whether it has been mom or dad. She said I made the right decision to stay home, and I have been a SAHM for the past 12 years.. We have 3 boys 12, 6 and 5.. The teachers at school think it's so awesome and have said they wish they could have had the ability to stay home... With times the way they are it's hard... I'm very fortunate to be able to and I don't take it for granted.. My hubby said if anyone puts you down for it then tell them that we can financially afford it and that the kids are better for it.. Don't stress over it, you have done whats right for your kids!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • I love being a sahm too! It's my dream job and I don't want to do anything else. Most of my friends are sahms as well. My one friend who does work as a very highly paid nurse/ER case manager is counting the days until she can quit to stay home.
    MommyAddie

    Answer by MommyAddie at 12:46 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

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