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7 Bumps

What to do??

Sometimes I feel like I am so burnt out on my career, I just do not know what to do! I want to be at home with my kids but financially, it just is not possible. I am the one who "Brings home the bacon" because I make a lot more than my husband does. I am at a point in my life where I am starting to get resentful of my husband because he has the 8hr a day job and he is at home with the kids every night. I just feel like it should be me. I am so sick of working 12-14 hr days with the hour and a half commute. Don't get me wrong, my husband is wonderful and I love him deeply. I am just ... I don't even know how to describe what I am at this point. I just want to be a mother and a wife.
I have been looking online for ideas to make money and everything seems to be a scam. I am not going to take endless surveys for a nickel a piece or sell my crap on eBay. I guess I am just doomed to a meaningless existence and continue on as the money cow and nothing more... Sigh... I know I must sound like a bad person for venting. I just cant help the way I am feeling right now. Anyone have any words of encouragement?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:45 AM on May. 3, 2013 in Money & Work

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • You're not a bad person. Most of us have probably felt like we wished we could be stay-at-home moms at least some of the time. I work from home and get to see my daughter a lot, but I was tired the other night and found myself wishing I didn't have to work at all. Figure out how much of it is just your tiredness talking inside your own head, and then sit down with your husband and brainstorm any changes you can make. I agree that if you don't tell him how you are feeling, it could lead to more resentment and eventually possible trouble between you. Good luck, hang in there.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 8:23 PM on May. 3, 2013

  • Education is the key. Do you have a college degree yet? Even a certificate or associate's degree will be a big boost to finding better jobs. You might have to suffer a bit more in the beginning of a career change, but usually within 2 yrs. the experience you gain will start doubling your income. I've told this to some friends I've tried to help & it seems they just don't get it & want it instantly. It's not going to happen instantly. So, you have to put in the time to make it better. Can one of you join the military or do reserves work on weekends? If you have skills in demand, you will always find work. What home skills can you market as a 2nd income? Cutting hair for friends? Baking? You'd be surprised how a small homemade cookies business can lift off if you know how to market it to college parents, companies, florists and military families. Care packages, diaper cakes, wedding/party supplies/favors are easy businesses
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 5:59 AM on May. 3, 2013

  • Have you talked to your husband? How does he feel about it? Is he willing to go back to school or get a higher paying, more demanding job? Are there areas you can cut expenses? Have you figured in what you would save by staying home (childcare, fuel for commute, dry cleaning, etc)?
    I did the 12-14 hour days when I was a single parent and I remember how draining it can be!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 6:10 AM on May. 3, 2013

  • "I guess I am just doomed to a meaningless exsistance"

    To me it sounds like your exsistance is anything but meaningless. You don't sound like a bad person at all! You sound like a woman who is working her butt off to provide for her family, & feeling overwhelmed by the need to instead be a part of that family in a more traditional sense. I totally feel for you & am so very sorry you are going through this! Have you looked for a job, closer to home w/ less hours? Have you talked to your dh & told him how you feel? If not, you need to. Maybe you can find a solution together that will allow you to lighten your work load, commute time, or spend more time w/ your family. If you don't communicate your feelings, you will become more resentful & it could affect your marriage & your mental health. I wish you the best, & wish I had better advice for you. Hang in there! *hugs*
    HappyEndings

    Answer by HappyEndings at 10:49 AM on May. 3, 2013

  • You're going to have to change things if you want to be with the kids more. Talk to DH and see what you're willing to give up in order for you to cut back on hours. Perhaps it's a job closer to home with less pay but you cut back on eating out, new clothes, vacations, etc. Currently I'm the main provider for our family. DH works for a temp agency and can be 10-40 hours a week. Either way he gets to be home more then I am and at times I get upset. I'd love to be a stay at home mom but reality is I can't. I remember to count my blessings and go on.

    The grass IS green on our side of the fence but there are always a few brown patches that you have to work around!

    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 12:24 PM on May. 3, 2013

  • Caveat Mama: I wanted to be home more till I actually got to DO it.. Then I found that it wasn't so wonderful after all and I couldn't wait to go back to work. Having is often not nearly as satisfying as WANTING.

    No possibility of a job closer to home for you? Or a home closer to the job?

    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:09 PM on May. 3, 2013

  • I say sit down with yr husband and a life coach or counselor and talk about it and try to come up with solutions....There wont be any easy answers at first but I understand how you feel...I have come to a crossroads in my life as well and I dont know what to do either.Good luck to you and I will be praying for you.
    Fairymom32

    Answer by Fairymom32 at 9:36 AM on May. 3, 2013

  • You know some people don't even have jobs out there and you and your husband are both working? I wish I could see my kid more but I'm a single parent and I have to work. Sure I could just live off the system and really have and meaningless life but I choose to be a strong woman and do what I have to do. I think you need a reality check. All this whining about not being able to see your kids. That's what weekends and vacation days are for. Sure you won't get to see the little day to day things but I bet if you were home all the time you would find something else to bitch about. I'm not trying to sound harsh but I see people struggle everyday just to put food on the damn table. At least you have a home to come home to. I swear people these days are just always thinking that the grass is always greener. Well you know, the grass can be full of glass and shit on the other side too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on May. 3, 2013

  • pm me I got a networking business with a great product that has no competition out there, unique in every way and revolutionary....
    older

    Answer by older at 12:34 PM on May. 3, 2013

  • People tend to go after the $ without realizing that you loose time with your family doing this which in the long run it is all you will have once everyone is gone, those memories and the bonds you create, all of that is worth it's weight in gold! this business venture I am offering you will give you the freedom you desire,.....but to achieve this you will have to build it up enough so you can then sit back and watch the $ roll in, not a scam, but an authentic product to give everyone health....the support system this company has is amazing, plus residual income, you need to check it out.....

    older

    Answer by older at 12:40 PM on May. 3, 2013

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